Uncharted: Matt’s Deception. The reason why there’s no Uncharted film (yet) is because this exists.

That is not exactly right. Elena is played by Penelope Cruz, who works for WHO instead of being an intrepid reporter. Instead of Sully the mentor, you get Steve Zahn the little brother. Close enough for a lawsuit.

A Southern mogul bankrolls a big budget film production with creative control: of course 4(!) writers are credited and the plot is how about the CSA rebs might be fighting for slavery, bit they were patriot nonetheless. Our hero Drake even rattles off the names of top Confederate military brass: Stonewall Jackson, General Lee and the rest. At least John Carter was subtle about it.

Add to that the classic American complaint about the restrictive federal government always with its regulations and all. Complaining about the CIA being too bureaucratically hampered is just ridiculous.

Ironically, for a film including the sentence “Nobody cares about Africa”, there are no African actors, not even as bad guys. The general/warlord is from the UK, for crying out loud.


This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.

Ephemera of Vision