Siberia


Just a regular film noir, where the “mystery” is checking which groan-inducing pickup lines do not result in hot steamy sex. And that ending, does not resolve anything at all.

Keanu is a diamond trader, and he flies to Russia to sell some kind of big diamond cache (which he does not have), hoping to meet a local guy that sells them first. He’s acting as a simple speculator, and he’s not even there already, so why should the buyers not cut him off the loop entirely?

They kind do, forcing him to travel to the titular location, where he meets a local girl eager for external dicks. She gets it, several times even, until she wants it for ever, even though he is already married in the US.

Part of the deal for the diamonds involves Keanu and the buyer to be mutually blown by their corresponding “girlfriends”, until completion, gazing into each other’s eyes. Not creepy at all.

Then the FSB forces Keanu to sell him some fake diamonds, knowing that he will be killed for that. There’s a shootout, since Keanu was not John Wick yet, and he gets shot, the end, roll credits.

HA, filming in Canada, pretending to be Siberia. They got me, no question there.

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This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.

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