Anora
The first third really trick you into this being just some American Pie shit. But it’s really not, the gopnik is the real working-class hero. Fucking rich assholes.
Working girl Anora is doing her shifts at the upscale strip joint/brothel. She’s also a gopnik, but she was already born in America, you can’t get that accent any other way.
A random client of her is some Russian kid, and he is fucking loaded. Enough money to buy her time outside the club even, and taking her to crazy parties in his house. Money is really not a problem, he can buy an entire week of her time, and show her off to his friends like a trophy.
Since she’s a trophy, why not go all the way and make her a trophy wife? It’s no big deal, they do it in Vegas, when both are intoxicated, but with different drugs. The kid is doing dope and MJ, while she tasted the meal ticket, and opportunity of a lifetime to leave poverty behind.
Alas, word gets around, no fucking way some tart is marrying into rich family without elder input. The first hurdle is some local Armenian Orthodox priest, the godfather, a local minder. He fucking abandons a christening to deal with this, so you can see the DEFCON level. As goons, his own brother gets there in an Escalade, with some gopnik as muscle.
Since she was born in America and knows her rights, the goons are legally requested to scram, but they have a key. Since she’s a working girl, she kicks their asses, Adidas tracksuits do not scare her. The kid gets spooked by parent talk, and scrams, abandoning his new “wife”.
The goons do not attempt some creative percussive force for some reason, and legal threats seem pointless, so they use a carrot: ten grand for letting bygones be bygones. She accepts, since her husband, who swore he would stay by her side forever, just ran off in his underpants. What she doesn’t accept yet is her club rival was right, this “marriage” couldn’t last more than two weeks.
Since all are more calm now they all go search for the kid in every club they can think of. This take a very long time, they all get fussy, there’s even a rant about how kids are just lazy ass bitches, always on TikTok and Instagram all day. Hilarious to see people blowing a gasket, together.
It takes all night, but they find the kid. He was on the very nightclub he found Anora, being blown by her rival, the fiend! They is a setup for a cat fight, which does occur. Our protagonist should have taken the L lying down, she was owned. Only the muscle dude protects her.
After pulling some strings, they go to court the very next morning (just a few hours later, really). But the idiots annoy the judge for nothing, they were married in Nevada! Mommy will be pissed!
The situation gets so dire, the elders are coming to get them, the kid screwed up big time and mommy is getting him home. They have enough money to drop everything and get to the US in their G5. G5, playa’. Big dick playa’, swinging past your knees. The mother takes the lead on this family matter, the father is just there for emotional support.
Off they all go to Vegas again, since they all know the protagonist threatening to get a lawyer to divorce him properly (with asset sharing) is toothless. She can’t sustain a lawsuit, where does she get the money? They get to Vegas and sign the proper marriage annulment forms, not without the kid and his mother getting a mouthful from our protagonist.
The rich guys skirt the law, but they also want no publicity, they want to keep this on the down low, so she gets back home on a low cost airline, with the dumb muscle as an escort. He will pay her to keep quiet.
Of course, the two working class people with a similar age will bond over their hatred of rich people, even though their “meet cute” was ugly and violent. Her Brooklyn Rage remains nearly all the way through, even after being courted in a very clumsy way. She knows he’s a keeper when he gives her the wedding ring, a keepsake from this ordeal. Only after rewarding him for this selfless act by getting to work, and receiving true affection does her facade break down, with a powerful cut to credits.
I never saw any of these actors, but they do a great job. The buffoons are really great, the gopnik is a kind soul dressed in tracksuits (an actual Russian!), and the mother is a stuck up bitch with razor sharp cheekbones. The protagonist needs a smaller range, but she only needs to sell that end scene, and she pull it off.
Thanks, Eileen Jones, you were right.
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