Austin Powers in Goldmember
Starts great, with an action intro that is actually a fake trailer for Austinpussy: Tom Cruise as Austin, Gwyneth Paltrow as Dixie Normous, and Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito as Dr Evil and Mini Me. Directed by Spielberg. John Travolta as the ultimate bad guy in the end. Not Octopussy.
The Powers Girl is Beyoncé, as Foxxy Cleopatra, a Pam Grier parody clocking people while yelling “Shazam!”. No, not from Caged Heat, from Coffy. Austin’s father is a preposterous Michael Caine with awful teeth.
Most of the jokes are repeated, and having Ozzy Osbourne saying that doesn’t change the facts. The new ones are not bad, just few and far between, like them talking in cockney rhyming slang. Leaning on the cameos like Brittney Spears, Jay-Z singing “It’s a Hard Knock Life”, et al. It’s more musical, but not enough.
In the climax, we learn that everyone went to the same Oxbridge school. And Dr Evil is actually Dougie, Austin’s brother. Scott Evil is now. Goldmember is the real evil all along.
The bad guys recruit the titular Goldmember, a ridiculous Dutch mockery. Shure, shome things are shuper entertaining. Still less stupid than Goldfinger.
Did not know Pharell wrote for both Brittney and Beyoncé, not to mention “Despacito”, that guy must be fucking loaded. Dr Evil has a Diddy tattoo, this is much crazier now.
This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.