Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone
“Ye’re a wizard, ‘Arry!”. The big one, the one that started it all, from the director of Home Alone.
The snake is from “Burma”, is it? In 2001? Even when the book came out, it was already Myanmar.
Ollivander’s, the Alien guy, is an hilarious mix between a a shoe salesman and one of those chaotic workshops manned by some irascible old man.
The “chosen one” plot hinges on Harry being a wizard “from birth”, but that’s Mudblood ideology, no? What about Hermione? And Lily’s parents were happy she was a witch, but Petunia hated those freaks, so what gives? It’s all a big fucking mess.
The whole English internal college vibe is also dated now. This was before woke, so why the actual fuck would literal Death Eaters like Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle, send theirs kids to a woke school like Hogwarts? Shouldn’t they homeschool their kids instead? Or send them to LSE, to maximise the evil potential.
Speaking of anti-Semitism, Gringotts is a vicious Protocols of the Elders of Zion pastiche, crazy to put that in a children’s story.
I never noticed a McGonagall on the Quidditch team in 1971, with Harry’s father! This doesn’t make sense, Minerva was already a crone by the time Harry was a boy! Maybe it was her brother or something? Speaking of the beautiful game, Madame Hooch, Quidditch teacher (not a drunkard) is the mother from My Family!
Quirrell is literally a nihilist, but without a ferret. There’s even a Nietzsche quote, “there’s no good of evil, only power”.
This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.