Westworld


Westward the bad cinema.

In an unspecified future past, where airlines have not devolved into their current motto “empty space on a plane is throwing money away”, one megacorp creates a theme park for adults that doesn’t involve (only) casual sex and/or gambling.

Delos is divided in three worlds, because nothing says “world” like a place you can walk out of. Note that all the worlds are literal theme park versions of the real deal.

Westernworld

Note the title of the film is NOT the name of the world. Westernworld doesn’t roll off the tongue.

This is a simile for the American frontier in 1880. Represented as the entire Western genre.

Cowboys, Indians, Sheriffs, Saloons, people spitting chewing tobacco onto the streets, Well Fargo stagecoaches, saloons with whiskey, gambling, and prostitutes.

Geared towards action-adventure (it’s as bland as is sounds).

Medievalworld

A representation of 13th century “Europe”. Where in Europe, it’s not specified, it has much more in common with films such as The Adventures of Robin Hood.

Princesses in colourful garbs, people speaking Ye Olde English, black knights, jousts, chainmail armour.

Geared towards sex tourism for men, sold as an experience of being a king for a week, complete with prima noctis.

Romanworld

Mockup Pompeii before the volcano hit. Carbon copied from Caligula and other films set in Roman times.

Togas, muscular slaves, gladiators, people lying in bed eating individual grapes. No vomitoria in sight.

Geared for sex tourism for women, the little it’s shown.


The star of the show is Yul Brynner, at least in paper, because he barely appears, and when he does there’s nothing for him to do but to die with terribly looking squibs.

The “main” characters are equally blasé about the whole thing. The main “main” character does nothing but run from Yul-bot the whole film, and his pal tries his best at an Eastwood impression.

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This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.

Author
somini