Need for Speed


Laughable waste of resources. A very talented cast doing fuck all, a preposterous script that resembles Yu Gi-Oh and children’s card games, millions of dollars in cars getting wrecked.

The villain is a noveaux riche asshole while the good guys are a ragtag bunch of “working class, blue collar” guys (this is a direct quote).

There the White (Aaron “Breaking Bad” Paul), the Black, the Latino, the comic relief (Rami “Mr. Robot” Malik) and the Girl (Imogen “28 Weeks Later” Poots).

Yet, the good guys have access to a Cessna and two choppers, money to pay for gas to go from New York to California on a 1000 horsepower gas guzzler and a giant truck too.

Ok, maybe they were being bankrolled by a generic rich guy, who sent The Girl as insurance for lending them the last created Ford Shelby. Kinda ridiculous to cream their pants over an old boring Ford while driving Koenigseggs with abandon.

The core of the plot concerns the villain challenging the protagonist and the sacrificial lion to a race with 3 identical $2M cars and forces one of HIS OWN cars off the road to win prize money ~$1M.

Ok, maybe he was just evil and wanted to kill a rival out of spite. It cost him $6M, since he had to mothball the car he drove to escape prosecution. Most hitmen are cheaper.

The protagonist is convicted of manslaughter and got to prison for 2 years (how the fuck does that happen?). Jumping bail, he goes to the West Coast for a race with the villain out of spite, wins but gets caught, and is jailed again for 6 months.

The race is for all the participating cars, but they are all wrecked, he wins nothing, which means the unnamed bankroller just threw millions of dollars down the drain.

All in all, dozens of millions of dollars in cars to the scrap heap, several people jailed for over 2 years, all caused by the protagonist breaking up with Dakota “50 Shades of Grey” Johnson, and jumping ship to the villain. A bleak comment on the futility of life, even for zillionaires.

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