Fumer fait tousser
Mon dieu, c’est magnifique. A higher budget silly B-movie, a much more comedic anthology of Troma-like schlock.
The framing device, and I can’t really fully believe I’m describing a Cannes laureate, concerns the Tobacco Force, a send-up to Super Sentai (or Power Rangers, and they are also called). Each of the rangers are named after a cigarette component (Nicotine, Benzene, etc), but they are smoke-free, they use tobacco as a weapon.
Their are introduced in an abandoned quarry, fighting a giant tortoise by kicking and punching, and finally defeat the monster by joining forces and giving it cancer, causing it to explode in a giant mass of blood and guts. They stop for a selfie with a fan, before getting to the countryside hotel where they will take a short vacation for team building purposes.
They are driven by the self-driving mini-van, might be controlled by Norbert the robot servant. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention their boss is a dirtier version of Master Splinter, constantly oozing some goo from his mouth, but lusted after by Nicotine, the yellow ranger.
To pass the time, they tell each other scary stories, and that is the bulk of the film.
- Two couples in the countryside, weekend getaway. One woman finds the 1930 thinking cap, notices she hates her husband and friends very hard, and goes on a rampage after years of inane conversations, killing them all.
- Small woodcutter workshop, the boss’ nephew gets stuck on an a wood chipper. The foreman refuses to take responsibility for a uninsured guy, but the boss is not very smart and sucks the nephew more and more into the machine. Only his mouth remains, and he can still talk! Mostly, he keeps banging on about being OK, no biggie. Just as he is being delivered to mother, she is startled and drops him on the ground, where he is eaten by a dog.
Finally, the Super Sentai have to go save the world sooner than scheduled, but they are saved by another breaking news about the Olympics or something.
Turns out the other female member is also fucking the boss on the side, Splinter is having sex with 3 different girls at once. How French.
In an ending worthy of Douglas Adams, the galactic bureaucrat about to demolish Earth the sickly planet gets called to dinner with his family and postpones it, then drops dead after eating yet another bowl of galactic soup. But it’s too late, the Tobacco Force already activated the time travel device.
Changement d’époque en cours
This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.