Top Gun: Maverick
That intro is straight out of Hot Shots, and so is the first plane ride. Played completely straight, this is absolutely ridiculous, it’s basically a remake.
A braindead plot, bombing Iranian arms scientists is “cooler” than some marriage or school bus in Yemen. It’s literally the Star Wars trench run, including the exposed ventilation shaft. Trump tweeted a satellite photo with incredible resolution and dropped the mother of all bombs, is there any reason for fighter jets over Iranian airspace?
If they were Israelis, for the taunt, maybe? You can see this was on updated for the post-Cold War ethos: Iran has 5th generation jets and zillion SAM in a valley? To protect what, with what money? They are both a shithole country and a legitimate military threat.
They are also so pressed for time, they train in San Diego, but if the target is Iran, the aircraft carrier cannot cross the Panama channel, it’s a looong way around the globe. Go annoy the Martinique people with sonic booms, not Californians. One of the team members wears glasses and still gets chosen, that’s literally an Hot Shots joke.
Maybe the target is North Korea? Who gives a shit anyway.
Some alternatives:
- Send 100 Reapers and deplete the SAM missiles, Russia’s industrial capacity seems demure now.
- Put the bomb on a Falcon 9 and fly it there.
- Drop massive tungsten rods from orbit.
- Assassinate all scientists that work in the facility.
- Send USB drives with Stuxnet.
- Re-join the JCPOA and bribe Iran to shutdown the nuclear program.
Most of those happened in real life and were extremely effective.
I was not aware the first one was a product of some Israeli glossy magazine propaganda, before turning into audiovisual propaganda. That guy is dead, but the family tried to extract their pound of flesh from this content.
Not many credited writers, that’s a good sign. My version has the Taiwan flag on the jacket too, but it’s only visible in screenshots. Skydance means Larry Ellison’s kid is credited prominently. It’s disheartening to see talent like Miles Teller and Jennifer Connely being wasted in Marvel-like for middle aged men.
So much for social progress, the only girl in the group crashes the plane, when assisting some dude. The moral of the story is that DEI is a failure, woman in combat roles is wrong, etc etc etc.
Even though our boy is shot down over Iranian soil, Miles gets back to help and gets shot down by a Russian SAM. That’s two hostages to be traded for something…
But wait. They steal a F-14 from the Iranian and take off, from the supposed destroyed airfield and runway. What a fuckup. They have time for a final dogfight, then as the last minute they are saved by the arrogant dude.
Everything went well, except they started World War 3, what are they celebrating? Netanyahu heard about the mission and nuked Teheran a few minutes later. The Pacific Fleet is sunk, Tokyo is nuked, Taiwan is invaded, Korea reunified under the Kim monarchy. Trump hears about it, calls it “rogue Admirals”, and avoids any action, but gets assassinated by some spook pretending to be Antifa. The US is invaded and partitioned between the victors.
This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.