The Loft
Is this… a PG-13 sex thriller? A contradiction in terms, only American hypocrisy can sustain this irony. It’s actually a remake of some Dutch film, hopefully with actual skin, you wouldn’t want things to get dreary, would you?.
It’s the classic closed room whodunnit, but without Poirot, Murder in the Orient Express doesn’t hit the same way. Of course, this needs a double twist, just outright three endings, so they can cram an “happy” ending in there too.
There are too many characters, five dudes, their wives and mistresses is massive crowd. Should have cut more than half of it, make it closer to Deception, but that turned out to be crap too.
There’s not even theme naming I detected, the dudes all have different personalities:
- The smooth operator, leader and instigator of the plot.
- The meek closeted homosexual.
- The meek goody-two shoes.
- The drunk fatso comic relief.
- The lower class coke fiend.
Together, they don’t fight crime, just commit it. Their wives are even less focused on, from bimbos, meal tickets, and creepy emotional leeches that “accept a lot of things to remain with you” when the gang is drunkenly discussing the best way to fuck around without finding out.
There’s plenty of flashbacks to their trysts, usually during inappropriate times, like weddings, dinner parties, etc.
Seriously, I cannot understand this. You did the hard part, rounding up massive amounts of talent, amassing the money, putting a script together out of clichés, that’s the hard part. Then you film it, and slice it up in edit, to avoid even nip slips? Why bother?
Then I read another review, and discover this was also remade in Belgium or something, by the same dude from the original-original! Even more baffling.
This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.