Bad Boys
My good, this is really badly written. It tries to copy Lethal Weapon and Point Break, but completely fails to live up to those expectations.
Seriously, the whole setup is a pure ripoff of all Lethal Weapon films, but since they spend all “ethnic” credits on the leads, literally all other characters are white people. You don’t want this to be a “black film”, so Da Chief is Pantoliano, not Tyler Perry.
Since the committee decided the R rating is fine, they don’t keep any subtle sex references, it’s all explicit. The epitome of exposition speak is when the two roommates discuss going to the party, what a complete crock of shit, whoever wrote that should have been laughed out any writing job. At least there’s not much of that, it’s all explosions and rotating cameras, it’s still a Michael Bay film after all.
After a big drug stash in the precinct is stolen by pros, the protagonists are trying to get it back, so they squeeze all informers they can. One of them is a working girl who takes her roommate to a job, as a favour to her handler she is fucking. Some friend…
Anyway, as she tries to escape the coked up ex-cop who payed for her company, that dude is murdered by his boss for not laying low before the deal is complete. The working girl is collateral damage. The roommate is now a key witness and manages to evade several professional killers.
When she tries to talk to the detective the “friend” who misled her into sex work had the hots for, the cops trick her, the partner tried to pass as him. She ignores a truckload of red flags, accepts their protection, but as soon as she reaches the apartment, she gets bored, even though she was nearly pissing herself with fear just before.
This ruse goes on for way too long, until their bickering appears on fucking TV! The bad guys are apparently off grid and don’t care about any of this, they slow walk just murdering the good guys, even though they have stakeouts in their homes, sometimes. Nothing makes any sense.
The witness boredom turns into horniness after witnessing explosions, but she is stuck with the married guy playing the womaniser, they have to remain chaste. She even asked him if he was gay point blank, he was all flustered and shit, doesn’t put out when she practically begs him to fuck her wearing sexy red underwear in bed together, but this is all played for laughs.
They have a shootout when the wife comes a-calling, since they made up some police crap in Cleveland but he shows up in the news with his womaniser partner and a white chick, then they have said Point Break ripoff. It’s just crap, no dogs being thrown around, no nothing.
I almost forgot, there’s also an Internal Affairs subplot, tailor made to have Da Chief bicker with his ex wife. It’s completely pointless, doesn’t affect the plot!
The best scene is the “motherbitches” convenience store shindig, but it would be better if they would cut of half of their bickering, and blocked the final shot correctly to avoid hiding Martin Lawrence’s face. Sometimes you get these glimpses of incompetency, just plain weird.
This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.