Archive for Tag Star Wars

  • Star Wars IX

    Fucking Palpatine was the mastermind all along, get the fuck out of here! Motherfucker George Lucas and the fucking prequels, fucking JJ, fuck that shit! “Do it! DO IT!

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Downright trolling the fans, this fucks up the continuity and makes the job of the next director extremely difficult, in service of yet another generic bloated action film.

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    The fan wank, pandering, and outright stupid shit continues unabated. Incredible how anodyne vanilla dude like JJ Abrams has an iron grip on both Star Wars and Star Trek, and both are generic action films.

  • Solo: A Star Wars Story

    Ha, Han shot first! No wonder he’s so cynical, he was used by the mobster lieutenant to kill her boss. He really thought they were eloping.

  • Rogue One

    Nobody asked for this Star Wars prequel, but the House of Mouse demands the milking process to start. Milk, milk, milk the franchise, gently down the screen, merrily merrily merrily, the plot is but a dream. I head this Andor guy has a nicer show.

  • Star Wars: Return of the Jedi

    The emotional arc of Vader’s story, intercut with childish teddy bears and a bunch of action scenes of no consequence.

  • Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back

    More of this sort of childish space opera. Jar Jar Binks is like a C-3PO on steroids, it’s grating on the ears. Even on more serious scenes, that tinny voice is there, hammering away at your ears.

  • Star Wars: A New Hope

    Yeah, it’s all right. Just another campy space opera, with action driven plot (lifted straight from The Hidden Fortress), young whippersnappers, and older British actors collecting their paycheck.

  • Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith

    No, Lucas, noooo! The retcons, oh the humanity.

  • Star Wars: The Phantom Menace

    Now that’s pod racing!

  • Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

    It that Rose Byrne? It’s like Harry Potter over here, a massive amount of English people!