Archive for March 2018

8 posts from 10 to 29 March 2018.

  • Ready Player One

    Spielberg trolls a generation. With Cline on board, they turn the book into Wreck It Ralph for older manchildren. Feels like The Matrix from the POV of Agent Smith. Should have guessed from the book’s ending.

  • Animal Político

    Dadaist CGI cow roams an urban setting, like the subway, restaurants, offices. Cow-a-bunda!

  • Tomb Raider

    Generic action film that happens to take some cues from the game, ignoring the Angelina Jolie continuity. No The Descent references, for shame.

  • Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

    From the director of In Bruges comes some fucking film about all the shit going down in America. A bunch of dipshits talking crap and fucking themselves up mutually.

  • 300: Rise of an Empire

    300 ways of dying in the cradle of western civilization in which more than 300 ships stop(?) an empire from raising. So it’s all lies just in the title.

  • Clouds of Sils Maria

    Meta film about a play that was to be adapted into film. Juliette Binoche plays almost herself, being tormented by her lack of youth, personified by Kristen Stewart and Chloë Grace Moretz.

  • Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

    Yo ho, a pirate’s life for me. Trumps Cutthroat Island as THE pirate film.

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    • Witness me! I am awaited in Valhalla!
    • MEDIOCRE!!!