The Brothers Grimsby

Starts silly, crosses the line into absolute bonkers, crosses the line twice into batshit insane. Better the The Dictator, but still not that good.

This is the classic separated at birth plot: one is a black ops assassin, working for MI6 with bulletproof Tesla and requisite drones. Other is a chav. Together, they fuck it up royally.

After the first scene to setup the assassin bonafides, there’s an Hardcore Henry inspired hit on Koobus from District 9, head of SPECTRE with another name.

That leads to some Live8 stuff, that our chav guy bungles into Daniel Radcliffe being infected with AIDS and the Israel/Palestine conflict remaining unsolved. Of course, after simulated handjob on cardbord cutouts of poor African boys…

They need to lay low, so they get to Grimsby, the chav’s crib. They throw a party to welcome him in the local pub, defeating the purpose of an hideout. There’s a shootout that ends up with our chav sucking the poison out of the spy’s scrotum, with gusto. That’s posted online, so they need to escape again.

The insider Moneypenny tracks the real killers to Kruger National Park, where a mixup with heroin leads to our chav flirting with a bombshell blonde over a clogged toilet, and another overweight lady being fucked. To close the tasteless circle, they hide inside an elephant’s uterus and are gangbanged by dozens of horny male elephants, for which the carpet matches the trunk… Magna cum loud.

The backstory thickens: our chav Nobby abandoned the super spy to be adopted by a London family, remaining in Grimsby, only to grow up with an obsession with football and overweight ladies. That clears up the Nature vs Nurture debate.

Finally, they are off to Chile, where Blofeld is blowing up World Cup final. Surprise, Blofeld turns out to be The Night Manager, I mean, the head of the Live8 organisation, the philanthropist prick. Among the struggle, Daniel Radcliffe is shot and transmits AIDS to Donald Trump, and the kid who would do The Deal of the Century is accused of murdering an MI6 spy (while being wheelchair bound).

Our boys save the world by putting the virus samples up their asses and letting it rip with all they got. Ass to ass…

This has a top of the line cast and crew. Even Chad “John Wick” Stahelski is involved.


This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.

Ephemera of Vision