American Pie


The one with the pie fleshlight.

This is the anti-Porky’s, they want to have the titillation cake, and eat (pussy). The core scene is unacknowledged sexual assault, but she reappears in the end as if nothing had happened. Not very sexy…

The protagonist gang wants to get laid so bad, but first they need to go though the gauntlet of character growth.

The jock leans to be more sensitive and abandon the lacrosse team at half time, the nerd learns to not spread rumours of his sexual prowess that cannot be substantiated, and the only guy already dating a girl learns how to lie to her face convincingly.

The protagonist learns that peeping toms (if tom let others peep as well) are rewarded with a nasty nympho feigning mental issues, and that the refractory period doesn’t apply to him.

The girls learn something as well: the jock girl learns to tolerate locker room talk in public, the girl being lied to learns what an orgasm feels like, and the MILF gets to bang an high school boy, the reverse Leonardo DiCaprio.

Yes, streaming naked video of someone surreptitiously is a-OK, but Stifler’s mom being banged on a billiards table is too obscene, you fucking prudes!

Stifler is just the “comic” relief, who falls down but then contributes to the plot somehow.

I’m guessing this is similar to the Saw film, the first is just a regular mediocre film that happened to spawn a bunch of sequels, even though they are basically shooting blanks here. The soundtrack is filled with nu-metal as well.

There are some random dudes, but the female victims did other stuff too. Mena “American Beauty” Suvari, Tara “I’ll suck your cock for a thousand dollars” Reade, and Shannon “Cursed” Elizabeth. Allison Hannigan did Buffy at least.

Some bit parts for Eugene Levy and Jennifer Coolidge, not together. Don’t miss the cameo by Casey Affleck, for some reason.

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This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.

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