Archive for Release Year: 2007

16 posts from 09 December 2024 to 16 July 2017.

  • The Golden Compass

    This is an interesting high fantasy story, completely butchered by the studio.

  • National Treasure: Book of Secrets

    Even more Brownian Saturday afternoon action-adventure. Alternate title: The Bourne Discovery.

  • Shoot 'em Up

    Paul Giamatti violently chewing the scenery while Clive Owen chews on carrots. The dark and gritty adaptation that Bugs Bunny needed, not one he wanted.

  • 28 Weeks Later

    Zombies, with human emotions. The opening scene stays with me forever.

  • The Number 23

    Joel Schumacher does a thriller that promises but fails to raise above mediocrity.

  • The Messengers

    Lousy cheating horror. I honestly saw this just for Kristen, but it’s from her teen phase, it should be ignored.

  • Call Girl

    The bog standard story of a high-class prostitute who hoodwinks her clients and the cop to run away with a suitcase full of cash to Brazil. Her real name is Mary, surname had to be Sue.

  • Tropa de Elite

    Bait and switch. Starts off as a nihilist critique of Brazilian society before going off the rails into full blow fascism. Remarkable in every other way though, a true Triumph of the Will.

  • Ocean's Thirteen

    Still as good as the first time.

  • Grindhouse

    Gun-wielding go-go dancers gunning down goons, gleefully. Gurning guys gamble their guts.

  • Atonement

    You stupid child. Getting people killed, is that her idea of fun? And the final gut punch, oof.

  • Hitman

    This is a just 2 or 3 stunt pieces wrapped in the thinnest of plots. It would barely cover a single game mission. A flimsy excuse to see Olga Kurylenko naked.

  • Resident Evil: Extinction

    Biohazard: The Road Warrior. A particularly crummy Mad Max ripoff, with final boss fight setting up the next film.

  • The Flock

    Seven, Eleven, Sixty Nine, Fifty. A thriller by the numbers, since it even stars with a kind of PSA with all kinds of numbers. Includes a unbelievable scene where Richard Gere grills Avril Lavigne over sexual proclivities, I bet Claire Danes laughing her ass off was real.

  • The Bourne Ultimatum

    A little bit of Identity, a little bit of Supremacy, a bunch of Snowden stuff, and some very supercharged spooks, since this film’s budget is much bigger.

  • I Am Legend

    Jesus, this is even more religious than Jurassic Park. Not only do they praise the Lord before going away on the chopper, everyone hangs around with massive crucifix pendants, and the whole plot is just a crisis of faith.