Blade Trinity
Who the fuck wrote this? Why? Blade is not an exasperated oldie, Whistler is a curmudgeon elder who dies (again), so Blade needs to run with Whistler’s Daughter (not the famous painting from Bean).
The badguys dug up Dagon, Dracula, Vlad Tepes, Drake (not the rapper), or whatever he calls himself. They are dumb evildoers, as deep as the Cullen family. Triple H is even their Walter Sobchak, stuck with a Pomeranian show dog, with fucking papers.
The Darkstalkers (not the fighting game) have some support people and Ryan Reynolds in his most insufferable. Blade just sniggers at him.
The plot is barebones: Dragula escapes and wants to take over the world. Blade shoots a human in broad nightlight and gets busted by the feds (fucking Hoover). He is broken out by the good team. The heroes run up to people and threaten violence if they don’t vomit exposition. Eventually, there are chase scenes, one with a baby. I also saw the Bourne films, they are much better.
“Cock-juggling thundercunt” is part of the final showdown insult battle. “I was born ready, motherfucker” brings Blade back into Demolition Man territory.
For an unexplained reason, the world runs on Esperanto, but they all talk English, yet another stupid plot point that goes nowhere.
This is my place for ramblings about sequences of images that exploit the human visual limitation know as persistence of vision.