Archive for Tag verse:Marvel

  • The Wolverine

    Wolverine goes to a comic book version of Japan. In the first 30 minutes there is a genki girl in a punk schoolgirl outfit, samurai, ninjas, ronin, Wolverine taking off his shoes and wearing flip flops, Hiroyuki Sanada, and a Yamato Nadeshiko.

  • X-Men Origins: Wolverine

    Pure unbridled dross, in every sense. You can tell by the credits, what do you mean will.i.am is top billed? How come the CGI is so shitty, what the hell? Is this an Asylum film, with A-listers?

  • Kraven the Hunter

    Jesus Christ, yet another R-rated comic book dross, without any adult themes, just pointless soft gore. Alessandro Nivola gets out of serious stuff live The The Brutalist, straight into child’s films (blast to the past of Jurassic Park III).

  • Daredevil

    So many questions. “My hearing is like a radar”. Like a radar for sound? You mean a sonar? Christ!

  • Venom

    This is another origin story, but different from Spider-Man 3. Who can keep track anyway.

  • Venom: Let There Be Carnage

    Another red Venom, yay. Haven’t seen the dozen of necessary Marvel shit to properly appreciate the references. Boring as fuck normal Marvel crap..

  • Wonder Woman

    Yet another bloated two and half hours snorefest, with a truly preposterous 30 min long silly fight scene in a parking lot. God, it’s so long and painful.

  • Blade Trinity

    Who the fuck wrote this? Why? Blade is not an exasperated oldie, Whistler is a curmudgeon elder who dies (again), so Blade needs to run with Whistler’s Daughter (not the famous painting from Bean).

  • Blade II

    A higher budget cannot hide the outdated CGI, but is great despite that. The characters are just awesome!

  • Blade

    Now that’s a Marvel film I can get behind. Beats Black Panther in every single metric. It’s not even an origin story!

  • Thor

    This is almost a real film. An actual plot with good actors, drama, cool visuals. It nearly outgrows its dark origins as childish dross, but there’s some specks of horse manure attached to a somewhat polished gemstone.

  • The Punisher

    Undercover cop extraordinaire and loving father gets his whole family killed by a mobster and goes postal, punishing them for their sins. Pretty subdued, considering its current appropriation by fascist cops.

  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Childish BS, what a crock of shit.

  • Deadpool

    Can’t hold a candle to R.I.P.D., that’s my verdict. If that’s not a black mark, I don’t know what is.

  • Fantastic Four

    Complete and utter dross, unworthy of this very review. I want to sue Marvel for my time.

  • The Avengers

    It was too hot to think today, so I watch these Avengers, and not the other, more interesting, film with Sean Connery in a Teddy Bear costume.