Archive for Tag comicbook
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Captain Planet in the Aquaman suit. Amber Heard being sidelined. Even more Tolkienesque plot.
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So many questions. “My hearing is like a radar”. Like a radar for sound? You mean a sonar? Christ!
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This is a better version of Van Helsing plus (any) Suicide Squad. The source material must be freaking awesome, if the watered down version is like this. Not to be confused with The League of Gentleman, there are no giraffes here.
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Cassandra Webb, crikey. She even goes blind in the end, can it be even more on the nose?
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I’m Batman! This is particularly lighthearted and funny, compared to the rest of the series, it retains just a little bit of the camp nature of previous adaptations.
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Truly a live action cartoon, not like the modern Disney lice action adaptations. And some of those old school cartoons, Richard Fleischer and the Tex Avery, adult animations.
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The only film where David Dastmalchian does not play the most tortured soul.
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This story doesn’t need to be directly interpreted as the last stand of Europe against the Asiatic hordes, since Attila and Genghis Khan are well into the future. It can be bloody Asterix, some monarchist anarchists fight an invasion by an evil empire.
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This is another origin story, but different from Spider-Man 3. Who can keep track anyway.
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Another red Venom, yay. Haven’t seen the dozen of necessary Marvel shit to properly appreciate the references. Boring as fuck normal Marvel crap..
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An anthology of smaller stories. Harvey Weinstein’s Miramax logo means immediate shudders at the amount of nudity. God, it retroactively ruins so many films.
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Yet another bloated two and half hours snorefest, with a truly preposterous 30 min long silly fight scene in a parking lot. God, it’s so long and painful.
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Who the fuck wrote this? Why? Blade is not an exasperated oldie, Whistler is a curmudgeon elder who dies (again), so Blade needs to run with Whistler’s Daughter (not the famous painting from Bean).
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A higher budget cannot hide the outdated CGI, but is great despite that. The characters are just awesome!
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Now that’s a Marvel film I can get behind. Beats Black Panther in every single metric. It’s not even an origin story!
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This is almost a real film. An actual plot with good actors, drama, cool visuals. It nearly outgrows its dark origins as childish dross, but there’s some specks of horse manure attached to a somewhat polished gemstone.
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Wait, another bloated superhero film with Harley Quinn and other people? Am I having Deja Vu? I’m just here for Ratcatcher, the weaksauce hero that saves the day.
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Undercover cop extraordinaire and loving father gets his whole family killed by a mobster and goes postal, punishing them for their sins. Pretty subdued, considering its current appropriation by fascist cops.
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Juvenile Timur is already stylish, but this is too raw and “eastern European”. It’s not distilled into blissful and inventive visual transcendence like his next films. Angelina Jolie plays a mean ruthless Trinity.
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More like Amphibiousman. He fights just as good on land. More hippopotamus, less sea lion.
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OH GOD THE PUNS! Cold comfort knowing they are delivered by Arnie. Uma Thurman also has plenty of plant-based puns too, leaf her alone! The zoom into the BatButt is literally the first scene.
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This is very bad, in so many ways. Amateurish really, a low rent Deadpool (that’s saying something!). The casting is the worse, Blake Lively should be the action girl and Ryan Reynolds the love interest!
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The Neil Marshall version, Neil Marshalled up to eleven. Gory as hell, in a fun way.
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A letdown compared to the first one. Box-ticking exercise, everybody is just going through the motions.
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The Dark Seven, a bit lighter due to contractual obligations. Worth it to go in without any marketing exposure. The Penguin is fucking rad, as are all other birds!
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White Noise…
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Me-wow! Woman Empowerment meets Sexy Leather Outfits. A much better look at the fashion industry that The Devil Wears Prada.
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More like bore of yuck-tease. It’s a complete trainwreck.
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Hooked by the intro, this hits the floor running but runs out of steam in the middle part. The perils of having to explain the origin stories of all characters, and the mandatory sex scenes.
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A small portal is open into an alternate universe, but we are only allowed to peek at it from afar. Not even worth for those who read the books, I would wager.
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Childish BS, what a crock of shit.
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Ludonarrative Dissonance: The Film. Yet another childish comic book adaptation that pretends to be edgy by using cuss words.
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FFS, one of the worst endings I have ever seen. Batman is prepared for everything, but truly everything? All the fuss about making sacrifices for the people to nought, since the Bats wins everything in the end.
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A childish comic book adaptation. This one suffers from a lack of plot and too much Will Smith.
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300 ways of dying in the cradle of western civilisation in which more than 300 ships stop(?) an empire from raising. The title is just stupid. What empire has risen, Persia? Greece ends up united in defeat! Or do they mean the Gondor cavalry at the end actually made a difference? So confusing.
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Can’t hold a candle to R.I.P.D., that’s my verdict. If that’s not a black mark, I don’t know what is.
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The one with the Will Smith hip-hop song over the credits.
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Goddamn clusterfuck of pieces of plot strewn together randomly. They credited an editor, but it’s just a pseudonym for BlendTec.
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This is a Bond film as directed by Tarantino, which leads to a black hole of bad taste. At least the villain is interessting.
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This is a nominal sequel to Frankenstein, the book. Except there are daemons and gargoyles too.
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It was too hot to think today, so I watch these Avengers, and not the other, more interesting, film with Sean Connery in a Teddy Bear costume.
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Bog-standard comic book adaptation. Not even worth to hate.
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This is a disposable popcorn flick, but having Jeff Bridges playing a parody of Rooster Cogburn from True Grit is pretty cool.