Archive for tag 'comicbook'

  • Aquaman

    More like Amphibiousman. He fights just as good on land. More hippopotamus, less sea lion.

  • Batman & Robin

    OH GOD THE PUNS! Cold comfort knowing they are delivered by Arnie. Uma Thurman also has plenty of plant-based puns too, leaf her alone! The zoom into the BatButt is literally the first scene.

  • Green Lantern

    This is very bad, in so many ways. Amateurish really, a low rent Deadpool (that’s saying something!). The casting is the worse, Blake Lively should be the action girl and Ryan Reynolds the love interest!

  • Hellboy

    The Neil Marshall version, Neil Marshalled up to eleven. Gory as hell, in a fun way.

  • Men in Black II

    A letdown compared to the first one. Box-ticking exercise, everybody is just going through the motions.

  • The Batman

    The Dark Seven, a bit lighter due to contractual obligations. Worth it to go in without any marketing exposure. The Penguin is fucking rad, as are all other birds!

  • Whiteout

    White Noise…

  • Catwoman

    Me-wow! Woman Empowerment meets Sexy Leather Outfits. A much better look at the fashion industry that The Devil Wears Prada.

  • Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice

    More like bore of yuck-tease. It’s a complete trainwreck.

  • Watchmen

    Hooked by the intro, this hits the floor running but runs out of steam in the middle part. The perils of having to explain the origin stories of all characters, and the mandatory sex scenes.

  • The Dark Tower

    A small portal is open into an alternate universe, but we are only allowed to peek at it from afar. Not even worth for those who read the books, I would wager.

  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Childish BS, what a crock of shit.

  • Kick-Ass

    Ludonarrative Dissonance: The Film. Yet another childish comic book adaptation that pretends to be edgy by using cuss words.

  • The Dark Knight Rises

    FFS, one of the worst endings I have ever seen. Batman is prepared for everything, but truly everything? All the fuss about making sacrifices for the people to nought, since the Bats wins everything in the end.

  • Suicide Squad

    Yet another childish comic book adaptation. This one suffers from a lack of plot and too much Will Smith.

  • 300: Rise of an Empire

    300 ways of dying in the cradle of western civilisation in which more than 300 ships stop(?) an empire from raising. So it’s all lies just in the title.

  • Deadpool

    Can’t hold a candle to R.I.P.D., that’s my verdict. If that’s not a black mark, I don’t know what is.

  • Men in Black

    The one with the Will Smith hip-hop song over the credits.

  • Man of Steel

    Goddamn clusterfuck of pieces of plot strewn together randomly. They credited an editor, but it’s just a pseudonym for BlendTec.

  • Kingsman: The Secret Service

    This is a Bond film as directed by Tarantino, which leads to a black hole of bad taste. At least the villain is interessting.

  • I, Frankenstein

    This is a nominal sequel to Frankenstein, the book. Except there are daemons and gargoyles too.

  • The Avengers

    It was too hot to think today, so I watch these Avengers, and not the other, more interesting, film with Sean Connery in a Teddy Bear costume.

  • Jonah Hex

    Bog-standard comic book adaptation. Not even worth to hate.

  • R.I.P.D.

    Jeff Bridges playing a parody of Rooster Cogburn