Archive for December 2024

22 posts from 04 to 23 December 2024.

  • The Escape

    Being the housewife of some boring office drone in the suburbs is so boring, it’s enough to have get severe undiagnosed depression. Going on a lone unplanned vacation to Paris doesn’t really help, idiots trying to fuck you also exist over there.

  • Looney Tunes: Back in Action

    A modern Who Framed Roger Rabbit, spoofing spy films instead of film noir (includes some nods of old-school sci-fi too). Now, that’s a proper live action Looney Tunes, not that Space Jam crap.

  • Daredevil

    So many questions. “My hearing is like a radar”. Like a radar for sound? You mean a sonar? Christ!

  • Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

    This is just embarrassing for everyone involved. Most people are just doing their job, how did Academy Award winner Amy Adams got dragged into this? Maybe her SAG card was expiring at the end of the year?

  • Body of Evidence

    A courtroom drama with a film noir attached to it, with an extreme old school perspective, where the “hero” rapes the femme fatale, but she still gets gunned down in the end like the whore she is.

  • Dream Scenario

    What the fuck did I just watch? We Need to Talk About Kevin meets Tár, produced by A24? It’s just plain weird.

  • Inside Llewyn Davis

    A bona fide musical and a Bob Dylan fictional biography at the same time. Top that, future Timotheé Chalamet biopic, I bet it’s going to be worse than this.

  • Copycat

    This is a very good thriller that wants to be a sitcom? A serious version of Scream for the serial killer genre (with true crime!). It’s so intense most of the time, but then defuses that tension with almost comedy. I don’t think this is really intended.

  • The Woman King

    An hardcore family drama veering into political intrigue, with some PG-13 action scenes for the ratings. Worth it for the massive fuck you in the face of several conservative movement, I bet many people blew a gasket at the poster alone.

  • Wasp Network

    This is very suspenseful, it’s only about half way through, in that silly flashback, that the politics of the thing reveal themselves. You can watch the first half and see only the hardcore Floridian Cuban POV, even inside Cuba.

  • Brazil

    Very much an anarchic semi-adaptation of Nineteen Eighty-Four and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in the same package. Style over substance might be too harsh, but definitively a low cosmopolitrometer setting.

  • The League of Extraordinary Gentleman

    This is a better version of Van Helsing plus (any) Suicide Squad. The source material must be freaking awesome, if the watered down version is like this. Not to be confused with The League of Gentleman, there are no giraffes here.

  • Space Jam: The New Legacy

    Oh lord, did they went full-meta? You never go full-meta. It’s just Wreck It Ralph for another megacorp, maybe the same one now?

  • Casablanca

    Allons enfants de la patrie, le jour de gloire est arrivé. Throw that Vichy water in the trash where it belongs. Even a propagandist is correct once in while.

  • Tremors

    Hot damn, that’s some fine old-school hillbilly elegy. An extremely low cosmopolitrometer meter which ain’t reactionary bullshit. I won’t touch any sequels with a 10 foot pole.

  • I Am Legend

    Jesus, this is even more religious than Jurassic Park. Not only do they praise the Lord before going away on the chopper, everyone hangs around with massive crucifix pendants, and the whole plot is just a crisis of faith.

  • Jurassic Park III

    Finally a sequel to Jurassic Park with Alan Grant, not that idiot Ian Malcolm. The kid says so in the film itself, the chaos guy was full of shit.

  • The Lost World: Jurassic Park

    The same blueprint as Aliens, the sequel is a balls-to-the-wall action film with little girls in critical roles. Some of the Jurassic World plot bullshit is already present here!

  • Jurassic Park

    Spielberg defuses Crichton crap by growing the plot tumour into the main plot: is Alan Grant, notorious kid hater, father material? He passes with flying colours, Ellie will put out.

  • Pearl

    What do you mean, the film where the protagonist fucks a scarecrow in the first minutes is the one with a eight minute monologue, a single unbroken take, with a fixed camera? What the X is going on?

  • Crank 2

    More of the same. An almost beat for beat remake. The main new idea is cool, a Power Rangers-style kaiju battle where the monsters are Statham with a silly square jaw, and the other random bad guy.

  • Scary Movie

    This aged extremely poorly, and Weinstein produced this. Weinstein is playing both sides, he produced fucking Scream AND I Know What You Did Last Summer.