Archive for Release Year: 1998
19 posts from 09 November 2024 to 27 May 2017.
-
Ultra obscure baby’s first noir with a star-studded cast. The producers must be crazy to throw away this, it’s not so unworthy to deserve the Direct to Video mark of shame.
-
Fucking Predator, literally, with even more fucking.
-
Yet another Airplane!.
-
A companion piece to The Matrix, but with a noir aesthetic. Sleeep!
-
Baby’s first Woody Allen film. A lite romp consisting of guessing the actor behind the voice. It’s quite easy.
-
If the first 30 min doesn’t discourage people from wars, what does? The rest of the film is just underlining the same points. If this is the continuation of politics by other means, it’s worth to keep the current means.
-
Scream, Invasion of the Body Snatchers. None of you are safe!
-
That’s just, like, your opinion, man. The Dude abides. Nobody fucks with the Jesus. This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass! You human paraquat!
-
The Bourne Team.
-
A bog-standard modern swords-and-sandals epic, could have been released in any year since 1950.
-
So that’s where Clooney met Soderbergh. A match made in heaven really. Ving Rhames should have been on the Ocean films.
-
I could watch Kevin J. O’Connor is any situation. He turns any schlocky monster movie into a fun romp. The leads too, both cat burglar Trillian and no-nonsense blue collar small business owner Paddy O’Malley, but Joey is the glue that holds the film together.
-
Gus van Sant does a shot-for-shot remake, with Anne Heche as Marion, the thief and philanderer, and Vince Fucking Vaughn as Norman Bates. With Viggo Mortensen on the cast, as the married boyfriend!
-
Great action thriller, at least the first half. The ending is pulled out of their asses, but it is a great romp.
-
Now that’s a Marvel film I can get behind. Beats Black Panther in every single metric. It’s not even an origin story!
-
This is a shitty thriller, it cheats so much there is a mid-credits montage of how things actually happened. What’s the point, then?
-
Christ, common Crichton crap. It’s like Andromeda Strain meets Prometheus, mixed with Solaris. The finale is utterly pointless, there is literally a reset and all arcs are undone.
-
A war film by Terrence Malick, sounds like a contradiction but the Malick-ness wins, it’s slow and soothing. Half of it it’s shots of weird jungle animals, Melanesian people enjoying life in a remote island away from the big brouhaha of modern cities, or soldiers on leave frolicking with said natives.