Archive for Release Year: 2024

12 posts from 30 September 2024 to 23 January 2024.

  • A Semente do Mal

    Fuck yeah, a proper horror film made in Portugal. Just a bit on the nose, as our boy is called Edward Ipus. Ed Ipus, geddit?

  • Soares é Fixe

    Technically impressive biopic with incredible makeup and acting, in service of a crappy hagiography and bland story. The political equivalent of the effects driven extravaganza.

  • Dune: Part 2

    The action-packed sequel that Dune: Part 1 required. The diptych really covers all bases. The changes from the book are mostly for the best (except the (understandable) Jihad references).

  • Love Lies Bleeding

    A very intense thriller, keeps delivering the goods until the end. Kristen rules, as always!

  • Monkey Man

    A political John Wick, that’s new. Of course it’s not filmed in India, Dev Patel would be murdered by RSS goons.

  • Civil War

    Yeah, a muddled mess, you can’t see the point clearly (maybe there isn’t any). Clearly written during the Trump years, it’s stale before it even plays in theatres. Amazing military visuals and sound, the sonic punch, the tactics, so engrossing.

  • Fall Guy

    The film equivalent of the diss track, mocking Tom Cruise mercilessly. There are so many Tom Cruise direct mentions, it’s clearly not an accident. The funniest thing is he can’t complain, is he gonna admit he doesn’t do his own stunts?

  • Cândido - O Espião que Veio do Futebol

    That’s a joke with The Spy Who Came in from the Cold. Fitting, for a middle-of-the-road spy flick.

  • Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga

    A completely unnecessary retreat over well worn desert roads of Fury Road, but still provides crazy visuals that make pretty much all Marvel crap looks like toddler-level drawings, when compared to this J.M.W. Turner painting.

  • Inside Out 2

    First world problems elevated to life-threatening conditions, as any teenager believes.

  • Alien: Romulus

    A nice mishmash of all Alien films, a little bit of horror, a little bit of action, a little bit of body horror and baby human-Alien hybrids. Utterly ruined by the stupid decision of putting a fucking deepfake Ash in it, Ian Holm must be rolling on his grave (even though is estate is credited).

  • Madame Web

    Cassandra Webb, crikey. She even goes blind in the end, can it be even more on the nose?