Archive for Release Year: 2024
21 posts from 30 November 2024 to 23 January 2024.
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Fuck yeah, a proper horror film made in Portugal. Just a bit on the nose, as our boy is called Edward Ipus. Ed Ipus, geddit?
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Technically impressive biopic with incredible makeup and acting, in service of a crappy hagiography and bland story. The political equivalent of the effects driven extravaganza.
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The action-packed sequel that Dune: Part 1 required. The diptych really covers all bases. The changes from the book are mostly for the best (except the (understandable) Jihad references).
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A very intense thriller, keeps delivering the goods until the end. Kristen rules, as always!
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A political John Wick, that’s new. Of course it’s not filmed in India, Dev Patel would be murdered by RSS goons.
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Yeah, a muddled mess, you can’t see the point clearly (maybe there isn’t any). Clearly written during the Trump years, it’s stale before it even plays in theatres. Amazing military visuals and sound, the sonic punch, the tactics, so engrossing.
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The film equivalent of the diss track, mocking Tom Cruise mercilessly. There are so many Tom Cruise direct mentions, it’s clearly not an accident. The funniest thing is he can’t complain, is he gonna admit he doesn’t do his own stunts?
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That’s a joke with The Spy Who Came in from the Cold. Fitting, for a middle-of-the-road spy flick.
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A completely unnecessary retreat over well worn desert roads of Fury Road, but still provides crazy visuals that make pretty much all Marvel crap looks like toddler-level drawings, when compared to this J.M.W. Turner painting.
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First world problems elevated to life-threatening conditions, as any teenager believes.
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A nice mishmash of all Alien films, a little bit of horror, a little bit of action, a little bit of body horror and baby human-Alien hybrids. Utterly ruined by the stupid decision of putting a fucking deepfake Ash in it, Ian Holm must be rolling on his grave (even though is estate is credited).
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Cassandra Webb, crikey. She even goes blind in the end, can it be even more on the nose?
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European Straw Dogs, meets The Shining.
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A nice descent into the making of the grifter to end all grifters. There are all the accoutrements that come with pathologic narcissism: massive Trump naming everywhere, gaudy gold plated shit for him and baubles for others, pure unbridled greed.
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I think I got the gist of this anti-fascist elitist screed. Power to the aristos speaking and acting on behalf of the people, I guess. It’s not very revolutionary, keeps the plot strictly in the marbled floors. If this is a roman à clef, I can’t parse it, after decades of rewrites. And it’s too damn long!
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The first third of The Day After Tomorrow or even Don’t Look Up, but with no budget, and good actors speaking technobabble. What a weird animal.
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It’s hard to believe the current mainstream horror cinema for teenagers is giallo body horror, but with extremely detailed CGI and perhaps some practical effects too.
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What the hell, I really only got the point with the last text crawl, good job everyone. It’s really The Witch meets Million Dollar Baby.
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A remake in name only. The main character is not even named. Plot with a bit of porn, nothing outside French standards.
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The first third really trick you into this being just some American Pie shit. But it’s really not, the gopnik is the real working-class hero. Fucking rich assholes.