Archive for Release Year: 2010
20 posts from 13 February 2023 to 12 March 2016.
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Salt is a crappy version of Bourne.
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Bog-standard comic book adaptation. Not even worth to hate.
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Tragedy strikes a perpetual optimist, then unsurprisingly he comes out on top.
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Follows the stories of three salaryman, unsurprisingly.
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The one about the cardinal sins. Throw in a science strawman to be torn apart.
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White trash struggles to live, while the universe conspires against them.
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If being befuddled and lost while pretty colours parade around my eyes and Alice gets PG-naked several times was the point, this has achieved its purpose.
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Ludonarrative Dissonance: The Film. Yet another childish comic book adaptation that pretends to be edgy by using cuss words.
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Bog standard, formulaic rom com with swear words. Poor Jay Baruchel. This is so predictable you can almost use it a clock.
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Boner pill commercials masquerading as the Boogie Nights of romantic comedies.
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Not preposterous enough to raise above mediocrity. I forget this was so topical. The team is in Iraq (Baghdad), the bad guys are the CIA and the Blackwater expys.
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A very derivative sci-fi action movie, but in a good way. Rips off the best parts from other films, and blends it with a inspired soundtrack. Perfect film to be introduced to the genre, particularly for an impressionable teenager like myself.
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A classic crisscrossed cheating conundrum. Everyone gets out of it worse than it entered. Mostly…
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The American Film Company casts dozens of lobsterbacks for another historical reenactment of Sic Semper Tyranis. It also has greased lenses for the indoor scenes…
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Fucking war. War never changes. In this case, it changes were significant.
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Fake Bostonians robbing banks and emotionally destroying a poor bank manager. Give it up, Ben, you ain’t no working class dude, let alone from the projects. Jimmy Renner is less fake than ye!
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Another serious-ish small-town-freaking-sucks film, but with jokes. Has David Brent as the working class patriarch (insert Gervais giggle). In a scale of The Town to Straw Dogs, this is about a 2 in the cosmopolitrometer.
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Good grief, the sound mix is truly awful. You can’t hear the dialogue, if you try to raise the volume your ears will be split on the explosions. I can see why teenage me thought this was the best thing since sliced bread: teenage me was dumb.
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This is a low key caper, so low key it even ends in a cliffhanger. Nothing is resolved, but it’s the journey that counts. Worth it for all but Keanu, he’s not cut out for this.
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Good old Vicky gothic horror, with all the ingredients: ghastly blood and guts, burly men with guns powerless against evil, and last but not least, sexual proclivities which should scare any proper lady.