Archive for Release Year: 2010

20 posts from 13 February 2023 to 12 March 2016.

  • Salt

    Salt is a crappy version of Bourne.

  • Jonah Hex

    Bog-standard comic book adaptation. Not even worth to hate.

  • 127 Hours

    Tragedy strikes a perpetual optimist, then unsurprisingly he comes out on top.

  • The Company Men

    Follows the stories of three salaryman, unsurprisingly.

  • The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

    The one about the cardinal sins. Throw in a science strawman to be torn apart.

  • Winter's Bone

    White trash struggles to live, while the universe conspires against them.

  • Alice in Wonderland

    If being befuddled and lost while pretty colours parade around my eyes and Alice gets PG-naked several times was the point, this has achieved its purpose.

  • Kick-Ass

    Ludonarrative Dissonance: The Film. Yet another childish comic book adaptation that pretends to be edgy by using cuss words.

  • She's Out of My League

    Bog standard, formulaic rom com with swear words. Poor Jay Baruchel. This is so predictable you can almost use it a clock.

  • Love & Other Drugs

    Boner pill commercials masquerading as the Boogie Nights of romantic comedies.

  • The A-Team

    Not preposterous enough to raise above mediocrity. I forget this was so topical. The team is in Iraq (Baghdad), the bad guys are the CIA and the Blackwater expys.

  • Repo Men

    A very derivative sci-fi action movie, but in a good way. Rips off the best parts from other films, and blends it with a inspired soundtrack. Perfect film to be introduced to the genre, particularly for an impressionable teenager like myself.

  • You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

    A classic crisscrossed cheating conundrum. Everyone gets out of it worse than it entered. Mostly…

  • The Conspirator

    The American Film Company casts dozens of lobsterbacks for another historical reenactment of Sic Semper Tyranis. It also has greased lenses for the indoor scenes…

  • Incendies

    Fucking war. War never changes. In this case, it changes were significant.

  • The Town

    Fake Bostonians robbing banks and emotionally destroying a poor bank manager. Give it up, Ben, you ain’t no working class dude, let alone from the projects. Jimmy Renner is less fake than ye!

  • Cemetery Junction

    Another serious-ish small-town-freaking-sucks film, but with jokes. Has David Brent as the working class patriarch (insert Gervais giggle). In a scale of The Town to Straw Dogs, this is about a 2 in the cosmopolitrometer.

  • Inception

    Good grief, the sound mix is truly awful. You can’t hear the dialogue, if you try to raise the volume your ears will be split on the explosions. I can see why teenage me thought this was the best thing since sliced bread: teenage me was dumb.

  • Henry's Crime

    This is a low key caper, so low key it even ends in a cliffhanger. Nothing is resolved, but it’s the journey that counts. Worth it for all but Keanu, he’s not cut out for this.

  • The Wolfman

    Good old Vicky gothic horror, with all the ingredients: ghastly blood and guts, burly men with guns powerless against evil, and last but not least, sexual proclivities which should scare any proper lady.