Archive for 2026
19 posts from 02 January to 31 January 2026.
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This is a much sillier remake of Escape from New York, with much less budget, as if it that is possible. Not for lack of ambition, they cram so much stuff into a small film.
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This is almost an epic movie for first time director Kristen Stewart, following large parts of the life of some pitiful girl, as she turns into a fully grown woman, with some setbacks.
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This is supremely silly, but po-faced, there’s not much humour to match the preposterous action sequences. “He doesn’t look like a killing machine. Looks like he’s in a boyband”. How meta. Almost as hilarious as Colbert’s “beef” with Rain.
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Is this official fan fiction? The Bible themes fit to a T. Zombies are metaphors again, I liked it better than the last one. The “In the House - In a Heartbeat” song still slaps, as much as the massive floppy dongs in full view.
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Depressing song and dance, featuring very uplifting music. I wouldn’t raise a baby in the sticks either, away from civilisation, it takes a village.
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The one with the massive and endless battle in Minas Tirith, with the olyphaunt, where the ghosts save the day. Then they go for yet another massive battle. Frodo chucks the ring into the lava, after dozens of fake-out attempts, then there are infinite epilogues.
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The big one, with the return of the wizard, wargs, a princess flirting with Aragorn while he dismisses her, Wormtongue whispering foul words to the king, and the trees flooding Isengard.
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There, and back again. The one with the disappearing Bilbo, all the Hobbit references, all the memes, and Boromir being turned into Saint Sebastian.
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Those first 30 minutes are insane, but it cannot sustain it for all the 180 minutes. The soundtrack is bitching, you gotta hand it to these musical fellows.
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An update on what seems a very old plot, which remains steadfast on extremely outdated politics. The period piece element is great, and so are the actors.
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The production values are so shitty, the kerning on the initial credits is amateur hour. Includes some Tony Todd cameos, for continuity.
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This is absolutely ridiculous, but doesn’t cross the second line into absolutely bonkers. It remains sadly grounded in jingoism, bad one liners, and stupid camera movements.
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Took their sweet time, just get it over with. A marathon of this is simply too painful, after HP 4 it’s all a blur, just going through the motions.
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The one with the wedding, a lot of PolyJuice, the wood-trotting, then no more Dobby (their version of Porg, with cute boots). Sadface.
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The one with all the snogging, Snape’s Potions book, and dead Dumbledore. Draco’s got the big acting to do, sadly.
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The one with Cho, the Glasgow lassie. And all the stuff with Dumbledore’s Army, Umbridge and the big battle in the Ministry. The first of the boring-ass samey grimdark BS.
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The one with the deadly teenage tournament.
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“Ye’re a wizard, ‘Arry!”. The big one, the one that started it all, from the director of Home Alone.
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The one with the hippogriff, the Knight Bus, time travel, and humour! Remember when Harry Potter was funny and whimsical?