Archive for Release Year: 2011
27 posts from 20 January 2025 to 24 March 2017.
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This is a fantastic film, in all senses of the word. Scott Glenn is clearly making bank on his David Carradine impression.
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Aren’t those new evangelical churches wacky?
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Bonnie and Clyde meets Logan’s Run channelling Fight Club. It’s as derivative as this sentence implies.
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The film where the least ridiculous scene is when a Mustang flips a bus.
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28 Straw Dogs. It even has Cillian Murphy.
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What the hell was this about? Did they get the cast together and then came up with a script on the spot? What’s the point of having a testicle-shivering amount of talent without a plot?
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Weaker gender swapped version of The Brothers Bloom.
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Freaking ace! Brad Bird gets the helm of the Impossible Mission Franchise and proceeds to do a The Incredibles inspired romp that is a joy to watch.
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Bog standard “creep invades home of middle class person” horror film. Very modern since the main character rents a bargain home for a “mere” $4k.
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What a shame that this doesn’t rise above smut.
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A loose remake of the previous film, but more a spunkgargleweewee, silly sex scenes and a different ending. From meh to yuck.
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A metal re-imagining of Ghost Rider, without paying the royalties. Metal to the core, y’all are not metal enough for this.
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Fuggedaboutit, Johnny. It’s Vegas with no name. Yup, it’s a film noir disguised as a Western, and vice versa.
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The index film for the COVID-19 generation. Wicked sick.
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Mixed Metaphors: The Movie. Sympathy for the Devil you know from childhood, since you brutally slaughtered baby rabbits with the future Wolfman.
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300 nicer plots squandered to focus on the bad parts. Holds up visually, as most Tarsem Singh films.
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Men in Black, as directed by Wes Craven. A low budget version of The Conjuring. How the fuck was Richard Jenkins cast in this, was he representing Hardbodies?
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This is very bad, in so many ways. Amateurish really, a low rent Deadpool (that’s saying something!). The casting is the worse, Blake Lively should be the action girl and Ryan Reynolds the love interest!
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Where Do I Begin? Life is Sweet, The Salmon Dance, Snow falls.
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A Blue Dog corporate Democrat is destined to win the White House and that’s God’s plan, unless he’s content to remain a corporate drone and live with a British dancer in NYC. Out of that horrible premise comes out a nice film.
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Just a standard Statham flick, with a John Le Carré framing device, some kind of SAS Oman Civil War intervention. Takes a back seat to the wall-to-wall action sequences. Yvonne Strahovski does a mean Australian accent, throwing another shrimp in the barbie.
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The famous invisible aliens film is not as bad as it seems. Pretty tame for a Timur-adjacent film.
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This is almost a real film. An actual plot with good actors, drama, cool visuals. It nearly outgrows its dark origins as childish dross, but there’s some specks of horse manure attached to a somewhat polished gemstone.
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The Fincher version. This is a great thriller, but feels like cultural appropriation to pretend everything is Sweden but speak English with accents. If you want to adapt a story, do it, don’t do this half way.
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Good grief, the Michael Lewis rot was there from the start. This was even co-written by Aaron Sorkin, for the radical centrist bingo. It was just hidden under the mass of talented actors squeezing blood from a stone.
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Mermaids, Blackbeard, and shit, but also some historical empires struggling for conquering an exotic landmark. The new couple falling in love is Morrigan from the bad King Arthur, and some priest of unknown denomination.
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They go full circle, there’s a blatant Cutthroat Island meets Fast Five ripoff in the bank heist. The cold open includes two openings in fact, the new lore and the nostalgia factor. For fuck’s sake, there’s also some deepfake Johnny Depp as teenager.