Archive for Release Year: 2011

19 posts from 25 June 2023 to 24 March 2017.

  • Sucker Punch

    This is a fantastic film, in all senses of the word. Scott Glenn is clearly making bank on his David Carradine impression.

  • Salvation Boulevard

    Aren’t those new evangelical churches wacky?

  • In Time

    Bonnie and Clyde meets Logan’s Run channelling Fight Club. It’s as derivative as this sentence implies.

  • Fast Five

    The film where the least ridiculous scene is when a Mustang flips a bus.

  • Retreat

    28 Straw Dogs. It even has Cillian Murphy.

  • Cowboys & Aliens

    What the hell was this about? Did they get the cast together and then came up with a script on the spot? What’s the point of having a testicle-shivering amount of talent without a plot?

  • Violet & Daisy

    Weaker gender swapped version of The Brothers Bloom.

  • Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol

    Freaking ace! Brad Bird gets the helm of the Impossible Mission Franchise and proceeds to do a The Incredibles inspired romp that is a joy to watch.

  • The Resident

    Bog standard “creep invades home of middle class person” horror film. Very modern since the main character rents a bargain home for a “mere” $4k.

  • Shame

    What a shame that this doesn’t rise above smut.

  • The Mechanic

    A loose remake of the previous film, but more a spunkgargleweewee, silly sex scenes and a different ending. From meh to yuck.

  • Drive Angry

    A metal re-imagining of Ghost Rider, without paying the royalties. Metal to the core, y’all are not metal enough for this.

  • Rango

    Fuggedaboutit, Johnny. It’s Vegas with no name. Yup, it’s a film noir disguised as a Western, and vice versa.

  • Contagion

    The index film for the COVID-19 generation. Wicked sick.

  • Immortals

    300 nicer plots squandered to focus on the bad parts. Holds up visually, as most Tarsem Singh films.

  • The Cabin in the Woods

    Men in Black, as directed by Wes Craven. A low budget version of The Conjuring. How the fuck was Richard Jenkins cast in this, was he representing Hardbodies?

  • Green Lantern

    This is very bad, in so many ways. Amateurish really, a low rent Deadpool (that’s saying something!). The casting is the worse, Blake Lively should be the action girl and Ryan Reynolds the love interest!

  • Hanna

    Where Do I Begin? Life is Sweet, The Salmon Dance, Snow falls.

  • The Adjustment Bureau

    A Blue Dog corporate Democrat is destined to win the White House and that’s God’s plan, unless he’s content to remain a corporate drone and live with a British dancer in NYC. Out of that horrible premise comes out a nice film.