Archive for July 2025
18 posts from 01 to 28 July 2025.
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Even Kristen Stewart cannot make me really care about the plight of some low-rent minor noble in the rat race that is the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha inbred fuckery (see The Windsors instead). But Maggie, the loving chambermaid is truly tragic and pitiful.
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A tale of wooden machines and iron men. I mean “men” in the physical sense only, closer to soulless ghouls capitalising on hard working people. Standard Oil is not even the main villain.
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A Bildungsroman, an allegory about fascist Others, and a pure action zombie film, struggling between one another to get to the front. They cannot decide if the zombies are allegorical immigrants or mindless monsters – the synthesis of that idea is simply repugnant.
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What nice little film, with so many small touches, par for the course with Tom Tykwer. What a scoop it would be to film this in actual Saudi Arabia, I think it’s all CGI and Morocco, Jordan, Egypt. Right?
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Not as good as the Coens version, and this has Dennis Hopper as the cattle rustler who gets shot in the cabin, and Robert Duvall as Ned Pepper.
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Complete and utter dross, devoid of any redeeming qualities. Will Ferrell and John C. Riley pretending to be babies for 90 minutes is just cringeworthy, and the rest is just dross.
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Wolverine goes to a comic book version of Japan. In the first 30 minutes there is a genki girl in a punk schoolgirl outfit, samurai, ninjas, ronin, Wolverine taking off his shoes and wearing flip flops, Hiroyuki Sanada, and a Yamato Nadeshiko.
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Pure unbridled dross, in every sense. You can tell by the credits, what do you mean will.i.am is top billed? How come the CGI is so shitty, what the hell? Is this an Asylum film, with A-listers?
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Jesus Christ, yet another R-rated comic book dross, without any adult themes, just pointless soft gore. Alessandro Nivola gets out of serious stuff live The The Brutalist, straight into child’s films (blast to the past of Jurassic Park III).
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Some CGI-fest using the Uncharted brand and some of the videogame set pieces, but strictly worse. They skipped all the ones inspired by other films, to avoid comparisons with talented directors.
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Yikes, the leads have 20 years of age gap, as they should, but it’s still leaves me yippy. Macron-levels of age gap are inherent yiffy.
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Poor Yuppie Snake Plissken, he can’t tell JT Walsh is always the bad guy? Another extremely low cosmopolitrometer film, had to double check this was not by Peckinpah.
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A Rock vehicle, a Conan-lite where he saves the girl and goes from assassin to the King. Not worthy of The Mummy connection.
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Oh lord, is this a gritty reboot of a children’s show? I though Fantastic Four killed that, apparently not. No worries, they added masturbation jokes to make it “adult”.
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Absolutely incredible, it’s the same script tweaked thrice: first, the hubby explains how the murder will happen, then the murderer fails to kill the wife, then we get the writer’s fabulation that turns out to be very close to the real deal. The whole thing hinges on latch keys being visually similar.
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Jackie Chan slumming it for the Americans, with a kind of clip show of his stunts from older films. “Chon Wang”, really? The culture clash reminds me of Red Sun.
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I just noticed The Matrix Reloaded highway scene is a much cooler and advanced version of the LA river chase scene! Cameron walked so the Wachovskies soared.
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The British version of Bruce Almighty with proper British inspirations: 1984 and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Also, Americans are savaged, as they should.