Archive for January 2026

9 posts from 11 to 31 January 2026.

  • Prisoners of Ghostland

    This is a much sillier remake of Escape from New York, with much less budget, as if it that is possible. Not for lack of ambition, they cram so much stuff into a small film.

  • The Chronology of Water

    This is almost an epic movie for first time director Kristen Stewart, following large parts of the life of some pitiful girl, as she turns into a fully grown woman, with some setbacks.

  • Ninja Assassin

    This is supremely silly, but po-faced, there’s not much humour to match the preposterous action sequences. “He doesn’t look like a killing machine. Looks like he’s in a boyband”. How meta. Almost as hilarious as Colbert’s “beef” with Rain.

  • 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple

    Is this official fan fiction? The Bible themes fit to a T. Zombies are metaphors again, I liked it better than the last one. The “In the House - In a Heartbeat” song still slaps, as much as the massive floppy dongs in full view.

  • Die My Love

    Depressing song and dance, featuring very uplifting music. I wouldn’t raise a baby in the sticks either, away from civilisation, it takes a village.

  • Babylon

    Those first 30 minutes are insane, but it cannot sustain it for all the 180 minutes. The soundtrack is bitching, you gotta hand it to these musical fellows.

  • My Cousin Rachel

    An update on what seems a very old plot, which remains steadfast on extremely outdated politics. The period piece element is great, and so are the actors.

  • Final Destination 5

    The production values are so shitty, the kerning on the initial credits is amateur hour. Includes some Tony Todd cameos, for continuity.

  • Armageddon

    This is absolutely ridiculous, but doesn’t cross the second line into absolutely bonkers. It remains sadly grounded in jingoism, bad one liners, and stupid camera movements.