Archive for Release Year: 2003
21 posts from 11 June 2017 to 22 December 2024.
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Neither a fluff piece nor a hatchet job
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I give it 7/used needles
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Ghost Whisperer on Rohypnol.
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Yo ho, a pirate’s life for me. Nothing says “Freedom!” like a PG-13 Disney movie based on ripping off old Treasure Island and Cutthroat Island.
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Standard John Woo film. Shit blows up while stuntpeople do increasingly crazy stuff.
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Light horror for kids. At least that’s how this is sold, but the backstory includes people committing suicide, with on-screen hangings. Just like Pirates of the Caribbean, this was adapted from a Disneyworld ride, except this is dead, Jim.
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The superior crazy people film. All female cast in which some poor woman deals with mental illness by pretending her neighbourhood in Washington Street is 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
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An adult version of Ice Age. Three hobos who make for a strange family find an abandoned baby in the trash and go on a self-imposed quest to deliver them into her family. They eventually deliver themselves into their old estranged families…
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A satirical look at the transition from late-stage decadent DDR into unified Germany, by way of complete exhaustion. Should always be accompanied by Das Leben der Anderen for a more complete picture.
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The old style caper, the genre killed dead by Ocean’s Eleven. This is nicely done, but ironically rides on its coattails. Dustin Hoffman, Rachel Weisz (what a shitty role for her), Paul Giammati, Andy Garcia (how ironic), and a bunch of nobodies fart out a competent ripoff from the big thing two years before.
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This is not very funny per-se, and it gets even worse the more you analyse it. The incredible part is how a satire of the Rodney King case can make it to the screen with such a budget. This could be easily recut into a grimy and gritty cop show about police brutality.
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Romeo and Juliet with vampires and werewolves, throwing other variations in the mix. The setting is pushed to the recent past where everyone drives Maserati, dresses up like Neo, and shoots either silver bullets or liquid UV light.
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“Ordinary, with a normal face”. I feel much was lost in translation here. This seems part police procedural, part period piece based on the background events that seem historically important, but my knowledge of contemporary Korean history prevents me from appreciating it more.
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A wide ranging anthology of The Matrix-adjacent stuff.
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A mix of Saving Private Ryan and Full Metal Jacket, if they were both directed by Jackie Chan or John Woo. The action scenes are so over the top, it’s hard to take the rest seriously.
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I originally saw this many years ago, but there were many images etched into my brain, particularly eating the live octopus and the fight scene in the corridor with the hammer.
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This is Rambo in the Kosovo War, then The Fugitive/Predator, then a proto-Bourne, all in a single package. Mostly First Blood if Richard Crenna was a real character, but the rest of the plot is pretty thin.
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My god, it’s worse than it seems. The girl is the least idiotic character, and she gets the short end of the stick: harassment, gaslighting, the main character literally feels her tits and jumps in her bath to kiss her. You know, for laughs!
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This is a better version of Van Helsing plus (any) Suicide Squad. The source material must be freaking awesome, if the watered down version is like this. Not to be confused with The League of Gentleman, there are no giraffes here.
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So many questions. “My hearing is like a radar”. Like a radar for sound? You mean a sonar? Christ!
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A modern Who Framed Roger Rabbit, spoofing spy films instead of film noir (includes some nods of old-school sci-fi too). Now, that’s a proper live action Looney Tunes, not that Space Jam crap.