Archive for Release Year: 2009
24 posts from 28 May 2023 to 16 March 2016.
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Surrogates might be a mishmash of every sci-fi film in the last decades, but then it takes large cues from Snow Crash too.
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Peter Jackson does Life Is Strange
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A thriller that cheats.
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I have seen this several times now over the years, and it never fails to impress, even when you know the twists. Bourne with much less action and more evilness.
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Should be named “The Pink Panther: You Too?”
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Wikus is the real everyman. A dumb bureaucrat who keeps fucking up.
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Oh, American comedies. Predictable as ever, emotionally manipulative, gratuitous nudity. Still, this is quite charming, like a puppy that wags the tail at you while you can see the poop in the distance.
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Bog standard high school horror film, of course it’s a thinly veiled selection between those who have sex, and those who want to. Not sure why I even bother…
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An old-school political thriller that screws everything up at the eleventh hour. It wrapped everything up cleanly, but then in the last scenes pulls a fast one, and turns the plot around. Why?
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The protagonist is such a such a charisma black hole, he is billed third, and the “sidekick” was capable of playing both roles. The amount of squandered talent is staggering.
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God wants, Gilliam dreams, the Film is shot. Like stretching The Brothers Grimm into the present and into the religious.
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Wes Anderson translates his style to stylistic “bad” stop motion. It works as well as his human-starring films, the emotional rollercoaster remains.
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Hooked by the intro, this hits the floor running but runs out of steam in the middle part. The perils of having to explain the origin stories of all characters, and the mandatory sex scenes.
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Clint Eastwood pulls a Ron Howard in the Obama years. It’s incredible that the director of this hagiography of Mandela, pacifism and race relations is the same guy that spoke to an empty chair. Schizophrenic.
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Can you do a zombie film without zombies? Yes, but it’s just The Happening with less killer trees.
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This title resembling a YouTube tutorial hides a muddled bunch of nothing with some French music as soundtrack. That imagined osmosis could make up for the lack of everything else.
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Psycho Marple. Just like all criminal Bong Joon-Ho films, the whodunnit appears to be a very complex web of motives and suspects, but turns into a nearly throwaway situation, completely random and unpredictable.
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Random Ziyi Zhang in an American Nordic noir ripoff (directed by the dude from Smack my Bitch Up and produced by Michael Bay, a match made in hell). Too many characters just appear out of nowhere, and die in the next scene.
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What the heck is this? The Christian Rock cover of the greatest horror hits. Let us soil ourselves to provide Christians with their vanilla terror.
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White Noise…
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A feature-length The Thick of It series, about war and walls (either Gaza or some local council). Has familiar faces on similar situations, but they get fucked in less time.
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One of the 127 ripoffs, this has an eloped couple. It came out the year before, so it’s technically in the clear, I guess. Rates pretty low on the cosmopolitrometer, I would say a 3.
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Just here for Emily Blunt, this is a very short and narrow look at a small part of Victoria’s life, focused exclusively on palace intrigue, not even a glimpse into the outside world.
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An origin story. How did a philanderer, murderous wretch privateering in the name of Glorianna, a guy that sailed under Francis Drake, turned into a pilgrim warrior-monk? By watching pilgrims die at the hand of raiders while his vow of peace remained unbroken.