Archive for Release Year: 2012
33 posts from 28 May 2017 to 10 November 2024.
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Yet another feel-horrible tale of lucky people in a tragedy.
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It was too hot to think today, so I watch these Avengers, and not the other, more interesting, film with Sean Connery in a Teddy Bear costume.
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Beefcakes are sensitive people too, beneath those massive layers of muscle.
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A scathing satire of Portuguese society. The script writer was a classy troll, and the fact that this was greenlit by the biggest broadcast network only makes it even funnier.
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Another “unfilmable” story turned into a great film. That moniker looks like a dare.
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Another Snow White adaptation, but fun and colourful.
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A great film for our times. Paranoia leads to witch hunts which lead to wrecked communities. A great companion piece to Doubt.
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Plain old CIA propaganda, with a touch of Hollywood trademark self-deprecation. Feels like U-571. Like everything CIA pumps out, it includes prominently that wall with a star for each KIA agent.
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North Korea invades California. Using HMMWV. What?
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FFS, one of the worst endings I have ever seen. Batman is prepared for everything, but truly everything? All the fuss about making sacrifices for the people to nought, since the Bats wins everything in the end.
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Just another crap horror film. It would have gone directly to the bargain bin, but Jennifer Lawrence became a bankable star right at the same time.
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The missing Saints Row 3 adaptation, with some introspection casually thrown into the mix.
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Teens find a hole with a superpowers-granting machine and have to deal with the fallout of being too immature for the power they wield. Pretty interesting take on the superhero genre.
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The Bond origin story that no one was pining for.
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Meta film in which Martin McDonaugh eviscerates himself, being impersonated by Colin Farrell.
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An ultra depressing film about lowlife Blockbuster Clerks / drug dealers that bite more than they can chew and get their lives kicked down a notch.
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Standard “drugs are bad” flick. Despite being about heroin addiction, everybody is happy, and after a brief “Kum ba yah” all is good.
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The accidental Bonnie and Clyde, except complete cretins. Reaches Nathan Barley levels of idiocy.
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Victoria Regina is part of a secret society of world leaders (most of them are actually her vassals) aiming to eat meat from all endangered species. Darwin is trying to curry favour with Vicky, ‘cause he wants poontang. Pirates who don’t do anything have a pet dodo. Will it blend?
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LotR with dwarves! The setup, where the party is assembled, information is gathered, and the resolves are tested.
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What would it happen if Timur watched Van Helsing and thought “This is too demure, I’m turning it to 11”? Probably the first step towards this batshit insane series of images. Crosses the line twice into crazy awesome territory.
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Gross out comedy, not very funny. The big palace is just Sevilla’s Grand Square with added Golden domes. This is a Francoist building, fitting.
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How ironic that this title leads to a resolution is where the protagonists do not eat something. Also, a film for “kids” featuring literal bloodbaths.
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Fucking hell, another “Estado Novo“-adjacent film with main characters who do no speak Portuguese? Dubbing a General who had such charisma that he forced the regime to rig elections against him, and then bury him in a shallow grave? Enough with the dubs already!
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Yet another piece of naked copaganda. The phrase “Thin Blue Line” is uttered unironically. During a voiceover.
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Underworld: Epilepsy. Nearly all florescent light is broken, and flickers like hell.
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[Cronenbergian](David Cronenberg){:.inner-link} body horror, Aronofsky-ish weirdness, and Halloween twisty serial killers, in a single esoteric package. It packs a noir atmosphere, with the requisite police procedural.
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Ah, I think this is a pretty faithful film noir update. Reacher is a complete asshole, to women, to allies, to everyone. But he’s also the Marty Stu protagonist, impervious to any threats. It’s better when the social mores being violated are from the 50s, he’s just a prick.
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Sicario, if Emily Blunt was actually working for the competition, split into random veteran, random surfer dude, and random trust fund valley girl. Did Oliver Stone took out most political references in exchange for the budget for shootouts?
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This is a bombastic improvement over the rest of the series, the explosions and overall action sequences are better. Paper-thin characters, just as the doctor ordered for brain shutdown entertainment.
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A stillborn franchise attempt, how sad. Even more for kids than the last one, mashing up book concepts like there’s no tomorrow.
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Imagine that, a 9 billion dollar company pulling extremely dirty tricks to get the mineral rights off some poor farmer dudes. They send some useful idiot dude, just promoted to VP to make him feel self-important too.
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Such a great melodrama split in two parts, but I preferred the first one. The second is tinged with colonial disgust in every scene, always there in the background, you can never ignore it.