Archive for August 2020

16 posts from 03 to 31 August 2020.

  • Monster's Ball

    Even unabashed Trump supporters are people, easily swayed from their world of racist hatred by poontang and a couple of deaths. I still don’t get the point of that imagined(‽) pussy eating session…

  • Night of the Living Dead

    The granddaddy of all zombies film not just includes all the elements of the genre, but also includes others that further films abandon. The ending absolutely kills it. It’s like a very souped up Outer Limits / Twilight Zone episode.

  • Mandy

    Totally rad, man. It’s John Wick meets Fury Road, in the style of the cover of a metal band album. “Psychotic drowns, while mystic swims”.

  • The Shape of Water

    Classic review of how crap the Cold War was, Creature From the Black Lagoon or not. You can tell by the first minutes on the bath it’s really a treatise on fucking. Fucking, and fucking, and fucking in heaven.

  • Warcraft

    Misunderstandings the lead to Total War: The Film. Surprisingly nice Tolkienesque prequel to World of Warcraft.

  • The Mummy

    Another Uncharted live action “adaptation”, Indiana Jones is too old fashioned now. It’s not even on the same league as the Stephen Sommers films.

  • Get Out

    This is scary as fuck. The protagonist is always on edge, even on the quiet bits. The final police car is the linchpin of the whole thing, and it falls into the wrong side of the tracks. The non-supernatural elements are scary enough, but I guess there’s Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner for that?

  • Famel Top Secret

    What the fuck is this? What the fuuu… No, life is too short.

  • The Brothers Grimsby

    Starts silly, crosses the line into absolute bonkers, crosses the line twice into batshit insane. Better the The Dictator, but still not that good.

  • Breakfast at Tiffany's

    An ad for a jewellery store? A treatise on the deleterious effects of high-end prostitution on personal relationships? An acknowledgement that Sugar Mommies exist? All this and much more in this classic story.

  • Easy Rider

    Two guys roam around America and see all that is, was, ever will be. Lives which are solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short. Finis coronat opus.

  • Manhattan Nocturne

    Rorschach’s Journal: I’m a depressed and paranoid voiceover, giving up the correct film noir vibes, and setting up the transitions between scenes, while the main character taxies around. Maybe I should not blame the plot for such an escalation in cruelty that numbs me, but it’s stronger than me.

  • Bairro

    Oh my. The pretend edgy stuff. The pseudo-Robin Hood shtick. The cars wrecking cardboard boxes. The fade to black, oh god, so many fades to black.

  • Little Joe

    Another take on The Thing / Invasion of the Body Snatchers, but without communists. A man-made fake happiness creator, must be Instagram.

  • Dog Eat Dog

    The classic tale of moronic criminal pals going down on account of their lack of smarts. Pure 100% dumb American fuckers.

  • How I Live Now

    What the fuck is this? Why does all young adult fiction must be post-apocalyptic? A crazy setting for such anodyne film. This is similar to The 5th Wave, but the core of the film is sexy people sexying it up, and not the end of the world as we know it. No gun worship either.