Archive for January 2024
16 posts from 01 to 31 January 2024.
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Yet another bloated two and half hours snorefest, with a truly preposterous 30 min long silly fight scene in a parking lot. God, it’s so long and painful.
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Biohazard: The Road Warrior. A particularly crummy Mad Max ripoff, with final boss fight setting up the next film.
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You got to hand it to Spielberg, he can tug at heartstrings. Under absolutely no circumstances you have got to “hand it” to the nazis.
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The second one, a direct sequel. Mostly a retread with smaller and smaller mean scene length. There are just too damn many cuts, it’s all chopped up like confetti.
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Fuck yeah, a proper horror film made in Portugal. Just a bit on the nose, as our boy is called Edward Ipus. Ed Ipus, geddit?
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It’s no Event Horizon, but it’s a competent mainstream horror film. Derivative, but a good effort.
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That’s no time to die, all right. Several decades too late. The complete anachronism of the whole thing is getting more and more preposterous. NANOMACHINES, SON!
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Who the fuck wrote this? Why? Blade is not an exasperated oldie, Whistler is a curmudgeon elder who dies (again), so Blade needs to run with Whistler’s Daughter (not the famous painting from Bean).
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A higher budget cannot hide the outdated CGI, but is great despite that. The characters are just awesome!
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Erin Brokovich with more English actors. I’m afraid of reading more about the case and discover they were all mistreated even more, or that the lawyers hoovered up all the money. I’ll be pissed if they made up the whole thing.
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A nice little close circle thriller. Simple, slow burner, twisty. Overdeveloped in terms of world building, the characters take a back seat.
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Now that’s a Marvel film I can get behind. Beats Black Panther in every single metric. It’s not even an origin story!
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Of all the suspension of disbelief, nothing beats Tom Cruise as the blue collar worker that kill the prepper. He would be the first Trump supporter.
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This is almost a real film. An actual plot with good actors, drama, cool visuals. It nearly outgrows its dark origins as childish dross, but there’s some specks of horse manure attached to a somewhat polished gemstone.
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Wait, another bloated superhero film with Harley Quinn and other people? Am I having Deja Vu? I’m just here for Ratcatcher, the weaksauce hero that saves the day.