Archive for Release Year: 2008
27 posts from 03 July 2024 to 11 June 2017.
-
The Thick of It meets Kevin Spacey headdesking repeatedly.
-
US frames innocent muslim for terrorist attack, is all for nought
-
Not-adaptation cash grab for 3D
-
Light drama meets tourism postcard with murders.
-
Still four kids, but with extra large scale battles with hundreds of dead.
-
Unspeakable horror. Almost literally, the 3 bad guys have less than 3 lines in total.
-
Goddamn fantastic cast doing jack shit to elevate this to beyond young adult fantasy for kids. Teens saving their world, that turns out to be a Fallout Vault with more incompetent people. Martin Landau and Bill Murray have a lot of fun chewing the scenery.
-
Similar to Bronson, but focused on IRA prisoners.
-
Back to thin plots layered on copious amounts of action scenes.
-
A bog standard thriller with the requisite twist and counter twist towards the end.
-
Analyse This retrograde script. Old and busted ideas dressed up in fine leather and CGI.
-
A fine drama, buried beneath mountains of makeup and special effects. It’s really just technical muscle flexing.
-
The Cliff’s Notes version. Über-depressing, almost makes you weep for idle rich aristocrats.
-
This is the worst episode of The Twilight Zone (the killer plants), upgraded to a watchable infection-based horror film. A nice first outing.
-
Heil Teacher! The simplifier in chief. Group dynamics do most of the work, it only needs a small push.
-
Pre-Snowden, pre-January 6 insurrection techno thriller. It’s a very competent cast with a silly script. Baby’s first Enemy of the State, Fun!
-
Fucking Bruges. Interplay of bizarre humour and gruesome violence.
-
What’s this, I don’t even… That cold opening sets the tone, but it gets progressively weirder and weirder. Goes to very dark places, but never raises above voyeurism and gratuitous shock value.
-
An industrial small scale version of Mad Max: Fury Road. Sure, there’s a plot in here somewhere, but it’s all about stuff blowing up.
-
A remake of a Pang brothers film, that’s something that you don’t see every day. Jessica Alba is a sight for sore eyes, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Rachel Ticotin still has that Total Recall vibe.
-
Like Escape from New York and Mad Max 2 had a baby, and that baby got shot in the eye, turning into a female cyborg Plisken, working undercover for the opposition government faction. So much exploding body parts…
-
Oh, what a lovely day. I’m expected in film Valhalla.
-
Juvenile Timur is already stylish, but this is too raw and “eastern European”. It’s not distilled into blissful and inventive visual transcendence like his next films. Angelina Jolie plays a mean ruthless Trinity.
-
Makes Stargate seem a documentary. The hodgepodge of references to ancient stuff is crazy. Of course the alpha couple are Canadian dudes with dreadlocks, for budgetary reasons, rather than outright racism.
-
This is too tasteless for me to be angry about the Israel-Palestine relations portrayed here. It’s all about dick jokes and codpieces.
-
An adaptation of a German book series, for kids. Wreck It Ralph with public domain characters, or The League of Extraordinary Gentleman for girls.
-
With all due respect, what the fuck? What the fuck is this? What the fuuuck… I know who you are, fucker. Fucking lunatics. Fucking morons.