Archive for Release Year: 2008

27 posts from 03 July 2024 to 11 June 2017.

  • Recount

    The Thick of It meets Kevin Spacey headdesking repeatedly.

  • Body of Lies

    US frames innocent muslim for terrorist attack, is all for nought

  • Journey to the Center of the Earth

    Not-adaptation cash grab for 3D

  • Bangkok Dangerous

    Light drama meets tourism postcard with murders.

  • The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

    Still four kids, but with extra large scale battles with hundreds of dead.

  • The Strangers

    Unspeakable horror. Almost literally, the 3 bad guys have less than 3 lines in total.

  • City of Ember

    Goddamn fantastic cast doing jack shit to elevate this to beyond young adult fantasy for kids. Teens saving their world, that turns out to be a Fallout Vault with more incompetent people. Martin Landau and Bill Murray have a lot of fun chewing the scenery.

  • Hunger

    Similar to Bronson, but focused on IRA prisoners.

  • Quantum of Solace

    Back to thin plots layered on copious amounts of action scenes.

  • Deception

    A bog standard thriller with the requisite twist and counter twist towards the end.

  • Hancock

    Analyse This retrograde script. Old and busted ideas dressed up in fine leather and CGI.

  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

    A fine drama, buried beneath mountains of makeup and special effects. It’s really just technical muscle flexing.

  • Um Amor de Perdição

    The Cliff’s Notes version. Über-depressing, almost makes you weep for idle rich aristocrats.

  • The Ruins

    This is the worst episode of The Twilight Zone (the killer plants), upgraded to a watchable infection-based horror film. A nice first outing.

  • Die Welle

    Heil Teacher! The simplifier in chief. Group dynamics do most of the work, it only needs a small push.

  • Eagle Eye

    Pre-Snowden, pre-January 6 insurrection techno thriller. It’s a very competent cast with a silly script. Baby’s first Enemy of the State, Fun!

  • In Bruges

    Fucking Bruges. Interplay of bizarre humour and gruesome violence.

  • Veneno Cura

    What’s this, I don’t even… That cold opening sets the tone, but it gets progressively weirder and weirder. Goes to very dark places, but never raises above voyeurism and gratuitous shock value.

  • Death Race

    An industrial small scale version of Mad Max: Fury Road. Sure, there’s a plot in here somewhere, but it’s all about stuff blowing up.

  • The Eye

    A remake of a Pang brothers film, that’s something that you don’t see every day. Jessica Alba is a sight for sore eyes, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Rachel Ticotin still has that Total Recall vibe.

  • Doomsday

    Like Escape from New York and Mad Max 2 had a baby, and that baby got shot in the eye, turning into a female cyborg Plisken, working undercover for the opposition government faction. So much exploding body parts…

  • Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day

    Oh, what a lovely day. I’m expected in film Valhalla.

  • Wanted

    Juvenile Timur is already stylish, but this is too raw and “eastern European”. It’s not distilled into blissful and inventive visual transcendence like his next films. Angelina Jolie plays a mean ruthless Trinity.

  • 10,000 BC

    Makes Stargate seem a documentary. The hodgepodge of references to ancient stuff is crazy. Of course the alpha couple are Canadian dudes with dreadlocks, for budgetary reasons, rather than outright racism.

  • You Don't Mess with the Zohan

    This is too tasteless for me to be angry about the Israel-Palestine relations portrayed here. It’s all about dick jokes and codpieces.

  • Inkheart

    An adaptation of a German book series, for kids. Wreck It Ralph with public domain characters, or The League of Extraordinary Gentleman for girls.

  • Burn After Reading

    With all due respect, what the fuck? What the fuck is this? What the fuuuck… I know who you are, fucker. Fucking lunatics. Fucking morons.