Archive for Release Year: 2008
30 posts from 26 August 2024 to 11 June 2017.
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The Thick of It meets Kevin Spacey headdesking repeatedly.
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US frames innocent muslim for terrorist attack, is all for nought
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Not-adaptation cash grab for 3D
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Light drama meets tourism postcard with murders.
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Still four kids, but with extra large scale battles with hundreds of dead.
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Unspeakable horror. Almost literally, the 3 bad guys have less than 3 lines in total.
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Goddamn fantastic cast doing jack shit to elevate this to beyond young adult fantasy for kids. Teens saving their world, that turns out to be a Fallout Vault with more incompetent people. Martin Landau and Bill Murray have a lot of fun chewing the scenery.
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Similar to Bronson, but focused on IRA prisoners.
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Back to thin plots layered on copious amounts of action scenes.
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A bog standard thriller with the requisite twist and counter twist towards the end.
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Analyse This retrograde script. Old and busted ideas dressed up in fine leather and CGI.
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A fine drama, buried beneath mountains of makeup and special effects. It’s really just technical muscle flexing.
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The Cliff’s Notes version. Über-depressing, almost makes you weep for idle rich aristocrats.
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This is the worst episode of The Twilight Zone (the killer plants), upgraded to a watchable infection-based horror film. A nice first outing.
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Heil Teacher! The simplifier in chief. Group dynamics do most of the work, it only needs a small push.
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Pre-Snowden, pre-January 6 insurrection techno thriller. It’s a very competent cast with a silly script. Baby’s first Enemy of the State, Fun!
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Fucking Bruges. Interplay of bizarre humour and gruesome violence.
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What’s this, I don’t even… That cold opening sets the tone, but it gets progressively weirder and weirder. Goes to very dark places, but never raises above voyeurism and gratuitous shock value.
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An industrial small scale version of Mad Max: Fury Road. Sure, there’s a plot in here somewhere, but it’s all about stuff blowing up.
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A remake of a Pang brothers film, that’s something that you don’t see every day. Jessica Alba is a sight for sore eyes, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Rachel Ticotin still has that Total Recall vibe.
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Like Escape from New York and Mad Max 2 had a baby, and that baby got shot in the eye, turning into a female cyborg Plisken, working undercover for the opposition government faction. So much exploding body parts…
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Oh, what a lovely day. I’m expected in film Valhalla.
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Juvenile Timur is already stylish, but this is too raw and “eastern European”. It’s not distilled into blissful and inventive visual transcendence like his next films. Angelina Jolie plays a mean ruthless Trinity.
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Makes Stargate seem a documentary. The hodgepodge of references to ancient stuff is crazy. Of course the alpha couple are Canadian dudes with dreadlocks, for budgetary reasons, rather than outright racism.
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This is too tasteless for me to be angry about the Israel-Palestine relations portrayed here. It’s all about dick jokes and codpieces.
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An adaptation of a German book series, for kids. Wreck It Ralph with public domain characters, or The League of Extraordinary Gentleman for girls.
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With all due respect, what the fuck? What the fuck is this? What the fuuuck… I know who you are, fucker. Fucking lunatics. Fucking morons.
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Mary Mother of (twin) Christs. It’s an “adaptation” of the escape from Egypt, where Mary is played by Michelle Yeoh and Joseph by Vin Diesel. But Baby Jesus is actually Mary, it’s confusing.
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The only film where David Dastmalchian does not play the most tortured soul.
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Crosses the line into bad taste, but then it keeps running and running, until it rolls over into awesomeness again. The anti-Lebowski.