Archive for August 2024

23 posts from 08 to 31 August 2024.

  • The Departed

    Those damn Buoston accents, I luove it. “Anointed Pederast” when referring to men of the cloth, they should have used that tagline on Spotlight (or at least a punk band name). I really want to rewatch Infernal Affairs now.

  • Free Guy

    Ahh, what seems like The Truman Show turns into Wreck It Ralph for teenagers (with a Cyrano love story). Shame, it reached for the stars, but faltered towards the end.

  • Jurassic World: Dominion

    The stupid quotes remain. “He slid into my DMs” used unironically, how the mighty have fallen.

  • Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    My god, this is too realistic. A billionaire CEO transitioning to lobbyist organisation green washing, another billionaire bankrolling stuff while congress gridlocks.

  • Hot Shots

    What can I say, this is another ZAZ flick, with only some of those letters. Mostly parodying Top Gun, but also very obscure deep cuts I didn’t catch. It’s fine.

  • Hot Shots Part Deux

    Ha, a Rambo parody with Richard Crenna. With the classic episode of George Bush Sr puking all over the Japanese Prime Minister.

  • Shutter Island

    I guess Scorsese is the real monster. What’s he doing, dipping his toes into stuff he knows nothing about? Or does he direct every script that comes up to him with violence against woman?

  • Tropic Thunder

    Crosses the line into bad taste, but then it keeps running and running, until it rolls over into awesomeness again. The anti-Lebowski.

  • The Dark Knight

    The only film where David Dastmalchian does not play the most tortured soul.

  • R.I.P.D. 2: Rise of the Damned

    One of those direct to streaming faux-sequels. The original was nothing to write home about, and this doesn’t have Rooster Cogburn. That dude from Sicario is not cut out for outright comedic roles.

  • Troy

    Only a German would bother about a big budget Illiad adaptation. He’s no Schliemann, this is a proper adaptation with nice touches, even though it’s a 3000 years old story.

  • Alien: Romulus

    A nice mishmash of all Alien films, a little bit of horror, a little bit of action, a little bit of body horror and baby human-Alien hybrids. Utterly ruined by the stupid decision of putting a fucking deepfake Ash in it, Ian Holm must be rolling on his grave (even though is estate is credited).

  • Jumanji

    It’s Home Alone if directed by Spielberg: all about the daddy issues for boys, girls are just a sideshow. Speaking of sideshows, black people are that too, even if they come up with some Air Jordan.

  • Fool's Paradise

    The big boy version of Little Miss Sunshine: pretentious, hypocritical as fuck, vacuous and lightweight. Charlie Day is not Charlie Chaplin, I’m sorry, they just share a first name.

  • Suburban Commando

    Hulk Hogan is not Batista, much less The Rock. He’s just a washed out wrestler trying and failing to make the leap into acting, but he just don’t have what it takes.

  • Public Enemies

    A less focused, 1930’s Heat. There’s not just one cop and one robber, it’s a lot of robbers with distinct allegiances and a boatload of cops (and even some bureaucrats like Hoover). It’s still better than The Untouchables, but doesn’t hold a candle to any of the Scarface films.

  • Vanity Fair

    Good grief, those upper class twits are complete maniacs. Alas, this is no Dangerous Liaisons, truly evil is vanquished but there’s an happy ending anyway.

  • The Bay of Silence

    One of those cheating thrillers, where there’s no way to guess what will happen based on foreshadowing. But it’s absolutely predictable anyway, because all unhappy families are unhappy in their own way.

  • The Last Voyage of the Demeter

    Count Dracula ships himself from Transylvania with a farm girl as travel snack, but gets the munchies and feeds on the rest of the crew.

  • Mata Hari

    From Cyborg’s producers, Sylvie “Emanuelle” Kristel is Mata Hari, an accidental “spy” who is being manipulated by both sides of WW1. It’s even more based on a great big lie, there’s a disclaimer that “no similarities with living or deceased persons are intended”.

  • Us

    Esoteric AF. I didn’t get it, needs a second view.

  • Cyborg

    Christ, that’s intense. Like a not so good version of Solomon Kane, same vibes but less production values.

  • The Swimmers

    The story of Yasra Mardini and her sister, told in the most soap opera style possible. It’s no Capharnaüm.