Archive for March 2025
20 posts from 01 to 31 March 2025.
-
Captain Planet in the Aquaman suit. Amber Heard being sidelined. Even more Tolkienesque plot.
-
Well, this is the opposite from Tim Burton’s film, where Wonka is not the villain, and it’s about mommy issues instead. Lovely, but safe and not iconoclast.
-
Is this the Christian critique to the manosphere cult? With a Jewish main character? There’s so much religious imagery (and songs), it can’t be a coincidence.
-
LA Heat. It’s not LA Vice, it’s all about the relationship between two guys, the amoral nihilist and the meek pushover.
-
Mr. & Mrs. Smith meets Ocean’s Eleven. The music and overall direction is straight out of Vegas, bit the visuals are quite weird. It’s better to no think too much of the plot either, the heroes are non-ideological Cambridge Five, but for Putin instead of the Soviet Union.
-
So this is where Anna “I would rather eat my own shit” Chlumsky came from? No wonder she works on the Veep’s office in the future.
-
A writer goes to a resort for inspiration, and gets a forced bout of self-discovery. An extremely forceful discovery of who he really his. Not even his girlfriend can keep him grounded in noblesse oblige.
-
The title is a reference to Hercules’ twelve labours, but this is just Die Hard with a Vengeance without Zeus. John Cena cannot carry a movie all by himself, and there’s nobody else. Even the villain is weaksauce.
-
Whaddaya mean, The Rock is an old Jewish guy from Brooklyn? Ya know, he’s on the ‘burbs!
-
This is way too meta to be taken “seriously”. Some extreme howlers, like multiple “fascist!” accusations, the president of Barbieland saying “motherfucker” with Mattel’s logo in her mouth, and so many Kens wanting to beat each other off. Better than Oppenheimer.
-
This is a low brow action flick that includes a couple of high brow scenes, so they can cut two trailers, I guess. Sicario with Marky Mark cannot be taken seriously, he’s like Arnie, the film warps to his personality, not the other way around.
-
This is a more classic arthouse film, a bona-fide bingo of neorealism. Just because Walter Salles is a billionaire doesn’t mean he can’t be a class traitor.
-
Such a nice Starship Troopers spiritual remake. It’s all there, but trades some satirical punches for a more uplifting message. Would you like to know more?
-
I AM THE LAAAAAAAW! Jon fought the law, and the law lost. I would believe if Diane Lane was pranked into thinking this would be a serious film. One of the weirdest source materials to adapt into a children’s film.
-
A good old sex thriller, this is a dying genre. Not a problem, when you got Arnon Milchan bankrolling and Adrian Lyne directing, he did so much of those before.
-
John Milius adapts a Tom Clancy novel. His influence cannot be so big, if the coast guard captain is a woman in the opening credits. No one drinks deer blood either.
-
Yet another victim of current events, this plot is absolutely mad. It was bad enough after the first Trump presidency, but after the second one, is just crazy. Why do even serious action films have to ape Marvel with shared universes, and post-credits scenes? Just do regular sequels, no need to tease so much!
-
Just a bog standard Blob propaganda piece, but very much focused on Jack Ryan himself, not much political stuff surrounding it. He’s a family man now, apparently.
-
This just IP, it has barely anything to do with Jumanji. It’s a souped up The Breakfast Club instead, with 30 year olds playing teenagers. In the Jumanji game universe, it’s a non-parody Land of the Lost.
-
Number 6, brought to you by Chinese money, sponsored by BMW. The James Bond ripoff levels are off the charts, Rebecca Ferguson is Vesper now.