Archive for tag 'franchise:Bond'

  • Spectre

    A “modern” Bond spiked with most of the stupidity of old Blofeld shit. Retcons all the previous villains into a sinister organisation, retroactively ruining them.

  • The Spy Who Loved Me

    Equal parts Benny Hill, eye watering melodrama and regular Bond villain megalomania.

  • The Man with the Golden Gun

    The one where Bond faces Scaramanga, the guy with three nipples and a dwarf servant.

  • Live and Let Die

    The very first Roger Moore-led Bond has magic people, voodoo people.

  • Diamonds are Forever

    One of Bond’s many low points. This is just bad.

  • Skyfall

    The Bond origin story that no one was pining for.

  • Quantum of Solace

    Back to thin plots layered on copious amounts of action scenes.

  • Casino Royale

    The one where the franchise grows the beard. After dozens of formulaic carbon copies, they graduate to the big boys club.

  • Die Another Day

    The one with Halle Berry, Rosamund Pike and Maddona.

  • Tomorrow Never Dies

    The one with Michelle Yeoh. Vincent Price is Rupert Murdoch on steroids. Hired Ricky Jay to hack “SSL2 with 128 bits” links or something.

  • The World Is Not Enough

    Surprisingly introspective plot about oil pipelines in Asia Minor countries.

  • GoldenEye

    Modern (about my age) Bond doesn’t really deviate from the formula. An above average action film.

  • On Her Majesty's Secret Service

    The one filmed in Portugal posing for Sicily, with George Lazenby.

  • You Only Live Twice

    Now this is just preposterous. SPECTRE is doing false flag rocket launches from their hollowed out volcano lairs with monorails!

  • Thunderball

    The one that starts the silliness. This starts with a funeral for a “JB”, Bond sucker-punches the widow (which turns out to be the dead man) and eventually ends with Bond escaping on a jetpack.

  • Goldfinger

    The one with Pussy Galore, Oddjob and the titular Goldfinger attempting to blow a nuke on Fort Knox to irradiate the gold and make all other gold more valuable.

  • From Russia with Love

    The quintessential James Bond. The one with all the recognisable elements:

  • Dr. No

    A badly paced risqué version of North by Northwest. Kinda underwhelming.