Archive for December 2025

23 posts from 01 to 21 December 2025.

  • The Final Destination

    The one with the NASCAR crash, not to be confused with Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Oh god, as if this wasn’t bad enough, they brought in the nu-metal. It makes me physically ill.

  • Final Destination

    The one with the plane crash. Not to be confused with any of The Twilight Zone initial episodes.

  • Final Destination 3

    The one with the rollercoaster ride. Yup, the same shit it ever was, but with a real actress, Mary Elizabeth Winsted. She can’t salvage this, but she tries.

  • Final Destination 2

    The one with the big freeway pileup. Not to be confused with The Matrix Reloaded.

  • Erin Brockovich

    A quintessential American story: some megacorp poisons thousands for decades, gets caught and squirts out some cash to shut them up (no trial, just a fake Potemkin village, no jurisprudence is settled).

  • Shock and Awe

    Yeah, I agree that the WMD media circus was a scandal, and I broadly agree with Rob Reiner here, but I’m not sure a half-comedy half-didactic exposé about it is the best way to do it, particularly releasing it in the Trump administration.

  • Heldin

    Heldin means “Heroine”, “Late Shift” is a bad translation. This is eerily realistic, as someone who spent over a week in a hospital recently. Should have really been a 8 hour long film, in real time, with the alarms beeping all the time.

  • All The King's Men

    The rise of a left wing populist, from an honest church treasurer, to blackmailimg bastard senators in the pocket of Standard Oil and the power companies. Gunned down by a rumour-fuelled conspiracy of rich guys. “Socialism” is never mentioned, this is still America.

  • Game Night

    The Hangover for board game nerds (but not too nerdy; Scrabble, Life, Risk, the boring ones).

  • The Watchers

    More Shyamalan weirdness: a standard light horror mystery, with a silly premise, but played completely straight. Technically not a pure Shyamalan film, he punted to her daughter.

  • Nuremberg

    What a terrible film about an interesting time. The reaction shots to the film shown on the court are offensive and abhorrent, do people need emotional manipulation to find footage of bodies being shovelled with a backhoe moving?

  • Vie Privée

    Jodie Foster was hired to do another Flightplan, but half of the film is a French comedy. Sounds terrible, but it works.

  • Situações Delicadas

    This is a remake of Rough Night. Just like The Hangover, this is too nihilist for my liking. Should have remade Bridesmaids instead.

  • Secretary

    Fifty Shades of Grey, if Anastasia was mentally ill, and there was another inept suitor. The lawyer is called Gray! Absolute insanity, this was allegedly based on a book, must be absolute smut.

  • Justa

    Extremely arthouse, but not as powerfull as A Metamorfose dos Pássaros since it’s about something external to the artists.

  • Richard Jewell

    Yet another tale of FBI incompetence, ruining the life of a random poor guy for nothing. They team up with enemies of the people, reporters for big local newspapers, always looking for fake news, literally sucking cock for news. Talk to the empty chair, Clint!

  • Porta Premium

    The Office, but with suburbs real estate guys. They have a rival realtor in the city centre, and are all around crazies.

  • Liberty Standing Still

    Phone Booth but political. Yup, Liberty does stand still for almost the whole film.

  • Me, Myself & Irene

    Jim Carrey does a great job as Doctor Jerked-Around and Mister Hater, but this is a 90’s comedy, it hasn’t aged so well. The soundtrack filled with nu-metal doesn’t help, it’s grating.

  • Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever

    This Canadian The Matrix ripoff had a good sense of hiring Don Davis for the music, to cover for the most generic plot possible. The leads have about 100 lines between both of them, but Lucy Liu barely speaks. Antonio Banderas just looks like a sexy John Wick for the whole time.

  • Austin Powers in Goldmember

    Starts great, with an action intro that is actually a fake trailer for Austinpussy: Tom Cruise as Austin, Gwyneth Paltrow as Dixie Normous, and Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito as Dr Evil and Mini Me. Directed by Spielberg. John Travolta as the ultimate bad guy in the end. Not Octopussy.

  • Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me

    This is still a James Bond parody, but it has many other gags semi-related, including Time Travel to steal the mojo. The Powers Girl is Heather Graham as Felicity Shagwell, Shag-very-well by reputation, as a generic American valley girl.

  • Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery

    A tight parody of James Bond films with a plot ripped of Demolition Man, and a bunch of gags lifted from other comedies like A Fish Called Wanda. The Powers Girl is Liz Hurley, as Vanessa Kensington, generic upper class sweater girl.