Archive for July 2026
23 posts from 04 to 31 July 2026.
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That’s a Refn film all right. A near dialogue-free opera filled with neon, rhinestones, and leather jackets.
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This is a genre now: If I Had Legs I’d Kick You, Die My Love, Vivarium. This is slightly less indie since it’s bankrolled by Larry Ellison’s cool kid, but Amy Adams is even more perfect for the role.
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This came out years before The Odyssey and Nolan still learned nothing from it. All that alleged attention to detail, wasted on incidental crap.
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This is a simpler Prisoners, or Mystic River by the Sea. The protagonist steps back from the brink miraculously, the actual outcome might as well be anything else.
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This is a very funny quick and cheap thing, but you see all the weird names in the credits, and the Legendary logo, it’s not an indie thing, it’s IP. The Toxic Avenger is IP now, Jesus Christ.
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Curious, this is another earlier strain of Contagion, but bloated with a shitload of unrelated films mixed in. Like Andromeda Strain, but good, not infected with Crichton crap.
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This had a lot going against it: Sydney Sweeney et al doing German accents, Ron Howard directing, Hans Zimmer. But very strong performances elevate this above mere survivalist gruel, it’s an actual feast.
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This The Blair Witch Project with extra budget is pretty nice, but it’s narrated by TJ Miller, you know how is goes. It grates your ears, and he only dies at the end, unlike Lizzie Caplan who doesn’t have time to soar. At least it’s only 70 minutes.
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The world’s most expensive fan fic (50 million per episode without any “real” stars is truly insane), with the “blessing” of Tolkien’s prole, whatever the fuck that means.
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I wasn’t expecting a deep exploration of masculine role models in a film involving peep shows. The pink angora sweater gains a different meaning once you see the context. Travis in not Bickle.
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John Woo and Sam Raimi together in The Big Easy, too many cooks spoil the broth.
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Row, row, row the boat, gently down the Maelstrom, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a speck in Athena’s eyes.
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A very weird mix of psychological drama about the death of a feeble old man, and farcical derangement of an ex-dictator that lives in a Potemkin village with actual ministers pretending to sign documents.
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This is not experimental like Reality, it’s a regular American biopic, with all the good and the bad that comes with it. This is actually funny, at least until the time of the leak. By then, there’s not much to laugh about.
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Is this a Bildungsroman about people that eat other people, not metaphorically? I mean, an actual look at monsters living amongst us, finding love and all. Also, an actual road movie, with a small twist.
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Die Hard in a Stadium, but with some extra heart. This is by far the best Jean-Claude Van Damme film, the fight scenes are closer to Jackie Chan in variety. Hell, every setup pays off in the future, like clockwork.
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I have to admit, future killer Landis Senior can direct some batshit insane stunts in the heart of Chicago, with a framing musical around it. Seriously, those final scenes are truly great.
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This is pure unbridled melodrama, with a very silly framing device to be set in the present, with a supporting character that is much cooler than the main boring one. It’s creepy as fuck, Kirsten Dunst was not actually 100 years old, she was just a child.
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Ah, an old school political thrillers, the comfort food of the post-truth era. This is less icky than Three Days of the Condor, at least she is a willing and motivated participant.
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Very stylish copaganda, this is part of the L.A. Confidential shared universe. It’s mostly about the characters, but there are brutal shootouts, chase sequences, and explosions. A lowbrow affair.
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What the actual fuck did I just watch? This is just softcore cuck porn, with John Derek filming with one hand, and Bo Derek and Anthony “Zorba” Quinn in front of the camera!
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This film is short and stout, not unlike the senator’s cock. The credits call this “Henry James’ Drive-Away Dykes”. Margaret Qualley’s fast talking Texan is heee-hawsome.