Archive for May 2025

23 posts from 01 to 31 May 2025.

  • Blue Beetle

    This doesn’t start in the best way: ripping off Men in Black II and segways into reggaeton. But it gets much better.

  • Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time

    A faithful adaptation of the actual story of the game, that’s what you get for adapting games with an actual plot, not Super Mario. The action is also very much inspired by Assassin’s Creed (the games, not the film).

  • Last Night at Soho

    A nice little musical horror. Falters towards the end, but it does not drown in a pool of its own blood, it only has some scars from deep knife cuts.

  • The Man

    Police-brutality-based “buddy cop” film, but where Mel Gibson is a Midwestern dentist supplies salesman. There’s a lot of police brutality, but the rest is funny.

  • Queen and Slim

    Extremely powerful stuff, the entire thing is brilliant. Then you check the release date and this is before George Floyd, before Breonna Taylor, before Jacob Blake. It only makes it more poignant.

  • Weird: The Al Yankovic Story

    I really thought this was a regular biopic, until the father beats the shit out of the accordion seller. Al murdering Pablo Escobar and Madonna taking his place is just another escalation.

  • Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

    I can’t believe how much Inception just downright stole from this. Not just the entire plot, but also smaller details. I could excuse Adam Sandler, but Nolan?

  • Black Hawk Down

    Is this a Sikorsky ad? Maybe an anti-ad, since two 10 million dollar gunships are shot down by simple unguided RPG. Sounds like a skill issue from the largest military in the world.

  • Attack the Block

    This is a small scale version of War of the Worlds or Signs, if the technical side was a Doctor Who episode. It includes pretty intense social commentary, bruv/fam.

  • Ali G Indahouse

    As if Seth Rogen, Airplane! and Mr. Bean had a filthy baby. How the fuck did they get Working Title to go for this, is it another Bad Santa? Poor Charles Dance, I guess he had a contract to fulfil.

  • The Green Hornet

    I have to say that Seth Rogen is extremely annoying, but if he’s the buffoon egotistic sidekick, I don’t think I mind. The action scenes are a bit chaotic, but there’s some stylish ones that take the cake.

  • Lost in Space

    This is surprisingly hard sci-fi for something for kids, very progressive in social mores, and absolutely against any kind of militarism. This is basically what the Star Wars prequels should be.

  • Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit

    Oh lord, an origin story, where the boring ass analyst gets sent in a misguided op that turns him into Bourne. With a touch of Tenet, as Keneth Branagh is once again the evil Russian guy, more Byronic this time.

  • Star Wars IX

    Fucking Palpatine was the mastermind all along, get the fuck out of here! Motherfucker George Lucas and the fucking prequels, fucking JJ, fuck that shit! “Do it! DO IT!

  • The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!

    A very Noir parody, it’s almost Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid levels. Both Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley hit it out of the park, what incredible performances. The deadpan faces are absolutely hilarious.

  • Star Wars: The Last Jedi

    Downright trolling the fans, this fucks up the continuity and makes the job of the next director extremely difficult, in service of yet another generic bloated action film.

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens

    The fan wank, pandering, and outright stupid shit continues unabated. Incredible how anodyne vanilla dude like JJ Abrams has an iron grip on both Star Wars and Star Trek, and both are generic action films.

  • Solo: A Star Wars Story

    Ha, Han shot first! No wonder he’s so cynical, he was used by the mobster lieutenant to kill her boss. He really thought they were eloping.

  • Rogue One

    Nobody asked for this Star Wars prequel, but the House of Mouse demands the milking process to start. Milk, milk, milk the franchise, gently down the screen, merrily merrily merrily, the plot is but a dream. I head this Andor guy has a nicer show.

  • Sinners

    Is this… O Brother, Where Art Thou meets Carpenter’s Vampires, with just a dash of The Banshees of Inisherin? A smashing combination, another great bona-fide musical.

  • Godzilla Minus One

    This is a cool looking war movie where the enemy is Godzilla, avoiding all moral qualms. The politics of the whole thing are iffy, but it doesn’t seem so jingoistic as its critics say, it explicitly rejects death cults of the kamikaze. The woman get the short end of the stick, but it’s a war film set in the 40’s, that’s expected.

  • Black Mirror: Bandersnatch

    This is a baby’s first videogame for the masses, it’s only a breakthrough if you have never played anything. It’s closer to a walking simulator than an Black Isle or Obsidian RPG.

  • A Time To Kill

    This is literally Anatomy of a Murder meets Mississippi Burning, that’s why it’s over two hours long. Jake is just a poor, country lawyer, so anarchist he thinks the NAACP are ghouls slumming it on sweet home Mississippi.