Archive for tag 'criterion'

  • The Social Network

    This is truly the Citizen Kane of our time, but it’s only accidentally brilliant. Know idiot and delusional Aaron Sorkin tries to suck Zuckerberg’s cock while maintaining eye contact all the time, but it backfires and both look like absolute idiots.

  • Burn After Reading

    Play it, Tuli!

  • I, Robot

    Ahh, vintage Will Smith slaps … I mean, kicks ass. A bona fide Arnie-alike. The plot is great too.

  • RoboCop

    I’d buy that for a dollar! A bit dated now, but still prescient. Mainstream big budget films where a strike is not really shown in a negative way are precious.

  • Hereditary

    Hail Paimon. Go ahead, chase me, I’ll run away to the attic.

  • The Thing

    Hot damn, this is intense. “Show, don’t tell is” taken pretty far here, most exposition is replaced with body horror instead. High octane paranoia, relentless from the opening shot with the escaping “dog” to the final explosions.

  • Repo Men

    Like a fine wine, it gets better with age. The soundtrack is incredible. Not to be confused with Repo: The Genetic Opera, which is also great for different reasons.

  • Total Recall

    Come on man, I got four kids to feed!

  • Starship Troopers

    Come on maggots, you want to live forever?

  • Blade Runner

    Like tears in the rain, the sheer visual power seeps into the water table and contaminates all downstream art.

  • Ghost in the Shell

    Part of the holy trinity of classical anime: this, Akira and Cowboy Bebop. Innocence is also great.

  • O Brother, Where Art Thou

    This is almost a variety act: singing and dancing is the bulk of it, but there’s also some drama, theatricals, and even space for political points (either more towards philosophy, or straight up politicking).

  • Everything, Everywhere, All At Once

    A baby fathered by The Matrix, Shaolin Soccer, Moonlight, and In The Mood for Love. Usually, “stuck in a blender” is a metaphor, but this is a corker. A better multiverse than more Marvel crap.

  • Dune

    Lord of the Sands. One Shai-Hulud to rule them all, one Lisan al-Gaib to bind them.

  • Children of Men

    The long shots never get old. Never.

  • Hackers

    Hack the Planet! Hack the Planet!

  • The Bourne Identity

    I had never seen the extended cut. They cut so much Wombosi stuff out, and there was apparently plenty of cuts and reshoots too. Still manages to blow most thrillers out of the water.

  • The Big Lebowski

    That’s just, like, your opinion, man. The Dude abides. Nobody fucks with the Jesus. This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass! You human paraquat!

  • Trafic

    Tati 4 life. One of the best road movies ever.

  • Strange Days

    Strange for cops to murder black people on a random traffic stop? Over spurious reasons, for nothing? Yeah, the good old 90’s…

  • Yojimbo

    Unemployed rent-a-cop/hitman wanders into town, pits two gangs against one another, comes out on top-ish. The Japanese Man with no Name.

  • Seven Samurai

    On the Mud-Caked Precipice of Greatness.

  • Alien

    Crew Expendable.

  • Constantine

    Yes, this is a run of the mill 90’s anti-hero, with mild The Exorcist flavour. But I still love it, Holy Wars have never been so snarky.

  • Contagion

    The index film for the COVID-19 generation. Wicked sick.

  • Network

    Mentally unstable news anchor talks smack on live TV. Self-Destructing behaviour ensues. Released in 1976. Damn.

  • The Lighthouse

    Landlubber Ephraim Winslow and old sea wolf Thomas Wake heave their belongings to the rock, eagerly waitin’ for the two fortnights of their shift. Two man in, how many men out? The sea. Sums. Dichotomy between good and evil.

  • Até Que o Porno nos Separe

    A crazy premise leads to a massive tear jerker. Nuts! No cockups here, I was unable to maintain a stiff upper lip.

  • Diamantino

    Shaolin Soccer meets Bourne, featuring Mediterranean refugees. Never thought that last sentence could ever make sense.

  • Capharnaüm

    Really puts a human face into the so called “economic migrants” we hear so much about. If this can’t shift policy, nothing can.

  • Sicario

    Simplicity is when you remove all unnecessary features, you get this. A film that’s all meat, no fat.

  • Twelve Angry Men

    How come this is so well regarded? It’s nothing more than white dudes talking.

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

    Ok, looking with a bit more attention, the plot is not as silly as it seems, there’s plenty of justification for their actions. It still makes no damn sense, but at least the internal consistency is there. Doesn’t diminish the film a bit.

  • District 9

    Wikus is the real everyman. A dumb bureaucrat who keeps fucking up.

  • Se7en

    What’s in the box (office)? The perfect Halloween film, if you like your candy laced with rusty razorblades, for your mind.

  • The International

    I have seen this several times now over the years, and it never fails to impress, even when you know the twists. Bourne with much less action and more evilness.

  • Blade Runner 2049

    Not so special K. A worthwhile sequel to a classic.

  • Dark City

    A companion piece to The Matrix, but with a noir aesthetic. Sleeep!

  • Akira

    Damn radical. Part of the holy trinity of classical anime: this, Ghost in the Shell and Cowboy Bebop.

  • The Fifth Element

    A supreme being. Perfect.

  • Princess Mononoke

    A gripping tale of a feral ecoterrorist raised by wolves that discover what you hu-mans call “emotions”.

  • Mad Max 2

    War. War never changes.

  • King Kong

    I re-watched King Kong today and it’s still as impressive as the first time.

  • Police Story 3: Super Cop

    This is just amazing. Should really be called Secret Service Story.