Archive for Release Year: 2026
20 posts from 24 January 2026 to 22 October 2026.
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Is this official fan fiction? The Bible themes fit to a T. Zombies are metaphors again, I liked it better than the last one. The “In the House - In a Heartbeat” song still slaps, as much as the massive floppy dongs in full view.
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A wholesome, non-cynic semi-hard sci-fi film, for the Internet-native teens. Even better than The Martian, Gosling is simply a better actor. Fist my bump.
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A much more raw and gritty version of Brick, without the trapings of high school, just economically depressed outer suburbs. There’s a legit sub-plot about marriage across minority lines, and ironic far-right rants by the very same Others, with fairer skin.
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A subdued thriller, filled with moral ambiguities that muddle the water so much, it almost ruins the characters. It’s pretty, but could have used a bit more dialogue.
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Uuu, an anthology of separate shorts, without any overlap other than involving descendants of African people.
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This is a shameless SCP adaptation, without mentioning or even hinting at that mythos. A very modern creepy-pasta stretched pretty thin. If Obsession is McDonald’s, this is the greasy spoon: better, but still not good for you.
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Magic Mike, if the female cast was the entire Ocean’s Eleven. Deuce Bigalow has got to be a reference too.
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Spielberg went and made all his nostalgia-fuelled imitators obsolete. It truly makes Stranger Things shittier than it already is. This is an apolitical Three Days of the Condor.
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A very weird mix of psychological drama about the death of a feeble old man, and farcical derangement of an ex-dictator that lives in a Potemkin village with actual ministers pretending to sign documents.
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Row, row, row the boat, gently down the Maelstrom, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a speck in Athena’s eyes.
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That’s a Refn film all right. A near dialogue-free opera filled with neon, rhinestones, and leather jackets.
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Is this a secular Left Behind film, where Rapture is COVID, but sanded down of any unwoke bits With real actors, why? Why would you do this, Margaret?
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I mean, it’s not very different from Looney Tunes: Back in Action, but this is even less focused on the humans. It’s not pure IP like Wreck It Ralph or Ready Player One, just the next rung in the ladder.
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RoBourne Hood. Much better than the other Robin Hood, just as you think this is just monarchist nonsense, they go all in on the guillotine insurance ethos. The king should have been gutted like a fish, if this was written by Alan Moore.
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I understand those who say this is very mild on the criticism, but it’s not the point. This is like The Zone of Interest, presented without comment. Seeing random Israelis living their lives in the background is very powerful.
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Now I’ve seen everything, centrists patting themselves on the back for the response to January 6. It’s so laughable, I want to have this kind of mind over matter confidence, the delusion is through the roof, the Sorkin-ness.
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“Woke 1 was crazy” in a meta narrative about Friday the 13th, with Pyramid (or Cube) Head as the killer. A bona fide sex drama too, these are more and more rare. The Ms. Rachel of desire.
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Someone get these predators out of here! Entrapment has never been so profitable. The guy in the crutches is the linchpin of the whole thing, when you hear the taser in the background. It’s a line in the sand.
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I mean, doing an nepo baby oligarch friendly film in the year of our Lord 2026 is a choice, the Trump stuff is just red meat to keep the wolves away. Worth it to break out of my Alejandro G. Iñarritu self imposed ban, but the Babel sickness is still there.