Archive for Release Year: 2004
33 posts from 20 January 2017 to 25 March 2025.
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Not the gorefest the series is known about.
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The one where the woman jury rigs a rotary phone and calls random numbers.
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Aren’t the 70’s whacky?
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Run of the Stuart Mill Brownian action flick. Franklin, I liked it.
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Steampunk Wizard of Oz, set during the Great War.
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Painfully unfunny. Yes, this is the middle of the series, but that doesn’t matter, there’s no canon anyway.
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Engaging for a very long time. War never changes.
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Good grief, what a milquetoast affair. Directed by the American Pie creator, here comes corporatist propaganda faux-raging against the system.
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From the ads, it seemed like another American Pie, but this is something else.
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Ocean’s Breakfast Club. At least that what the script was gunning for.
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A Stephen King adaptation about a mentally unstable writer, what a surprise. This is the one where he is stalked by a southern guy played with gusto by [Jesus Quintana](/2020/11/11/the-big-lebowski.html{:.inner-link}.
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Contrived coincidences cannot create cockups. Consequences cleanly cutoff.
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Better than I remembered. A classic noir tale of Egyptian gods meddling with human (and mutant, and alien) affairs, with the protagonists being jerked around, railing against the gods for free will.
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Another nail in the coffin of a timeless story, eternally retold. Jammed into an anachronistic hodgepodge of Hollywood-esque action sequences and verbal quips.
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Supreme writing about writing (and wine). Life, the Universe, Everything. Touching yet outrageously hilarious.
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The single-word American remake of a scarier Japanese horror film. Tasteful usage of fade to black all through the film softens the blow for the hardest hitting stuff.
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Got to be one of the most depressing films ever. Not only the shaggy dog stories pile up, the resolution takes the cake as one of the vilest endings ever. Not what a I expected from the directors of The Final Destination, starring Ashton Kutcher.
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The 2004 remake. Why don’t you play a little solitaire? A sole political scion, shielded from the world by his mother, the heir of a political dynasty. They should name him “John Fitzgerald”, or “Chelsea”.
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This boy needs therapy (purely psychosomatic). What does that mean? You’re a nut! You’re crazy in the coconut.
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Doesn’t get old. Smashing!
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Me-wow! Woman Empowerment meets Sexy Leather Outfits. A much better look at the fashion industry that The Devil Wears Prada.
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I personally prefer The Mummy, but this is also a very good revival of the old monster movies, minus Boris Karloff. A competent baby’s first gothic horror, a fantastic introduction to the Genre.
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The silly adaptation. Fogg is still a upper class twit, but mostly the distracted type, always with his head on the books. Passapartout did rob the bank of England, but just to return stolen artefacts, so it’s fine, a kind of Elgin marbles situation. Monique is a struggling artist forced to wait on other twits like Vincent Van Gogh and Toulouse-Lautrec.
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Undercover cop extraordinaire and loving father gets his whole family killed by a mobster and goes postal, punishing them for their sins. Pretty subdued, considering its current appropriation by fascist cops.
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Holy shit, this is so 90’s teenage “comedy”. And so American, the come to generic “Europe” with green screens on exterior scenes.
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Who the fuck wrote this? Why? Blade is not an exasperated oldie, Whistler is a curmudgeon elder who dies (again), so Blade needs to run with Whistler’s Daughter (not the famous painting from Bean).
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The second one, a direct sequel. Mostly a retread with smaller and smaller mean scene length. There are just too damn many cuts, it’s all chopped up like confetti.
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Ahh, vintage Will Smith slaps … I mean, kicks ass. A bona fide Arnie-alike. The plot is great too.
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Good grief, those upper class twits are complete maniacs. Alas, this is no Dangerous Liaisons, truly evil is vanquished but there’s an happy ending anyway.
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Only a German would bother about a big budget Illiad adaptation. He’s no Schliemann, this is a proper adaptation with nice touches, even though it’s a 3000 years old story.
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If Pitch Black is Alien, this is some weird ass Aliens. There are some baffling hairstyles in here, just hideous mohawk-mullet hybrids.
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This is still very cool, even though Marie’s death is extremely shocking. Why, does Bourne need extra motivation? She was just another Collateral Murder.
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LA Heat. It’s not LA Vice, it’s all about the relationship between two guys, the amoral nihilist and the meek pushover.