Archive for 2025
182 posts from 01 January to 30 December 2025.
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The one with the big snake, big spider, and small pixies. The Lockhart teacher is incredible, once again Dumbledore fumbles the rotating position.
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The one with the NASCAR crash, not to be confused with Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby. Oh god, as if this wasn’t bad enough, they brought in the nu-metal. It makes me physically ill.
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The one with the plane crash. Not to be confused with any of The Twilight Zone initial episodes.
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The one with the rollercoaster ride. Yup, the same shit it ever was, but with a real actress, Mary Elizabeth Winsted. She can’t salvage this, but she tries.
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The one with the big freeway pileup. Not to be confused with The Matrix Reloaded.
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A quintessential American story: some megacorp poisons thousands for decades, gets caught and squirts out some cash to shut them up (no trial, just a fake Potemkin village, no jurisprudence is settled).
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Yeah, I agree that the WMD media circus was a scandal, and I broadly agree with Rob Reiner here, but I’m not sure a half-comedy half-didactic exposé about it is the best way to do it, particularly releasing it in the Trump administration.
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Heldin means “Heroine”, “Late Shift” is a bad translation. This is eerily realistic, as someone who spent over a week in a hospital recently. Should have really been a 8 hour long film, in real time, with the alarms beeping all the time.
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The rise of a left wing populist, from an honest church treasurer, to blackmailimg bastard senators in the pocket of Standard Oil and the power companies. Gunned down by a rumour-fuelled conspiracy of rich guys. “Socialism” is never mentioned, this is still America.
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The Hangover for board game nerds (but not too nerdy; Scrabble, Life, Risk, the boring ones).
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More Shyamalan weirdness: a standard light horror mystery, with a silly premise, but played completely straight. Technically not a pure Shyamalan film, he punted to her daughter.
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What a terrible film about an interesting time. The reaction shots to the film shown on the court are offensive and abhorrent, do people need emotional manipulation to find footage of bodies being shovelled with a backhoe moving?
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Jodie Foster was hired to do another Flightplan, but half of the film is a French comedy. Sounds terrible, but it works.
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This is a remake of Rough Night. Just like The Hangover, this is too nihilist for my liking. Should have remade Bridesmaids instead.
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Fifty Shades of Grey, if Anastasia was mentally ill, and there was another inept suitor. The lawyer is called Gray! Absolute insanity, this was allegedly based on a book, must be absolute smut.
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Extremely arthouse, but not as powerfull as A Metamorfose dos Pássaros since it’s about something external to the artists.
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Yet another tale of FBI incompetence, ruining the life of a random poor guy for nothing. They team up with enemies of the people, reporters for big local newspapers, always looking for fake news, literally sucking cock for news. Talk to the empty chair, Clint!
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The Office, but with suburbs real estate guys. They have a rival realtor in the city centre, and are all around crazies.
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Phone Booth but political. Yup, Liberty does stand still for almost the whole film.
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Jim Carrey does a great job as Doctor Jerked-Around and Mister Hater, but this is a 90’s comedy, it hasn’t aged so well. The soundtrack filled with nu-metal doesn’t help, it’s grating.
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This Canadian The Matrix ripoff had a good sense of hiring Don Davis for the music, to cover for the most generic plot possible. The leads have about 100 lines between both of them, but Lucy Liu barely speaks. Antonio Banderas just looks like a sexy John Wick for the whole time.
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Starts great, with an action intro that is actually a fake trailer for Austinpussy: Tom Cruise as Austin, Gwyneth Paltrow as Dixie Normous, and Kevin Spacey and Danny DeVito as Dr Evil and Mini Me. Directed by Spielberg. John Travolta as the ultimate bad guy in the end. Not Octopussy.
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This is still a James Bond parody, but it has many other gags semi-related, including Time Travel to steal the mojo. The Powers Girl is Heather Graham as Felicity Shagwell, Shag-very-well by reputation, as a generic American valley girl.
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A tight parody of James Bond films with a plot ripped of Demolition Man, and a bunch of gags lifted from other comedies like A Fish Called Wanda. The Powers Girl is Liz Hurley, as Vanessa Kensington, generic upper class sweater girl.
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No way, this is a prequel to The Big Lebowski. Jackie Treehorn himself, a mobster in some podunk town, graduating to a bona fide porno empire in Malibu. And The Stranger is in it too, with long flowing hair!
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An orgy involving Demolition Man, Max Headroom, I, Robot, The Lawnmower Man, The Thirteenth Floor. It has all the hallmarks of the era, but Denzel thinks he is in a drama.
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From the Star Wars guy, this an old school epic Western with a giant cast and larger vistas, an hagiography of a brutal age of genocide, corruption, and ecological disasters. Dirty Harry meets Death Wish with horses and backstory, basically.
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What the fuck is this casting, why is Chris Rock doing an horror film? He uses his stand-up personality!
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You mean, it’s possible to very loosely take the only bits of The Hangover that aren’t dogshit and create an actual proper film? No fucking way Judd Apatow had any input in this, it’s too good.
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The missing link from W1A.
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Wait, now this is a serious film? A Bildungsroman for the manbaby? Get the fuck out of here, what a complete idiocy. Don’t worry, this is the film equivalent of “No Homo!”, they are extremely heterosexual all of them, gayness is still disgusting.
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More dross, it’s exactly as I said: the same film, but with another wedding. This time in Bangkok, for “visual diversity”.
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This starts strong, but gets worse and worse, the more it goes on. The credits photos destroy the remaining mystery, don’t explain the joke, guys! American comedies never disappoint.
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Nathan Fielder outdoes himself, it’s simply beyond the pale. Nathan for You it’s more direct, this goes deeper and deeper.
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A little bit of good, a little bit of bad, an American Comedy through and through. Not great, but not awful either.
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Incredible British improvement over Ripley’s Game, with an amazing soundtrack. Barry Keoghan had earned it at grave fucking, but he also had to have that dance at the end too.
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American “comedies”, am I right? And about themselves, how producers are all pimps fucking hot women, etc etc etc. Harvey Weinstein is in it, he doesn’t jack off into potted plants, at least on camera.
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Oh god, did they just retcon a retcon? What’s all that business with Han, Jason Statham and John Cena? The lore is way too convoluted for me, I would rather read Ulysses.
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Humour and homages to horror films, in my political commentary? What’s this, Bergman? Coen-esque, the way every single bit part has some incredible actor going all the way.
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Slow and steady, black and white, reason and emotion, communists and secret police, fado and opera, wrapped in massive amounts of cigarettes.
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Nhe, a big hodgepodge of all the best Fallout ideas, but without a big overarching plot per-se, a bunch of set-pieces, mostly disconnected. Every human body is made of plasticine, malleable and squishy.
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See, The Wicker Man, it’s possible to make a serious film about dressing people with bear skins, flirting with Aryans, and burning effigies. “Is this Waco” is the best aside comment.
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Classic french comedy centred around a renamed Extinction Rebellion. It’s pretty funny, having the two male leads being phoneys for different reasons who only join the group for the free booze and the women is another classic.
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The most unrealistic part of this Towering Inferno semi-remake is that Josh Lucas is the actual bonafide lead, credited before Kurt motherfucking Russell, Snake Plissken himself.
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This almost works, but Chris Rock doesn’t have enough range to code switch properly. His CIA guy is not different enough to make this truly believable, it’s too movie-like. A good Joel Schumacher idea, but it needed someone else as a lead.
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Remember when yuppies were vilified in culture, remember that? I’m guessing they won in the end, the nihilism won! Trump is even mentioned twice: his car, and his first (now dead) wife, buried in a golf course for tax purposes.
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What the fuck is this, with Mila Kunis as a baby, and Shatner as a professor fucking a student? But PG-13, and comedy music all over (or nu-metal, equally inappropriate).
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Sophie Marceau is way too young to be married to some dude 30 years her senior. Way too young for this slightly less pornographic Emmanuelle.
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Yep, half of the Coen Brothers still got it. Making every single bit part and side character count is a superpower.
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A freaking hilarious romp through a boarding school for blue blood Mid-Atlantic types, who never forgets to be poignant and sad. Set in the ‘Nam years, this is extremely political, but not in a didactic way, it’s almost never explicit.
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The one that launched “massive” franchise. This is /tag/franchise-finaldestination.html meets I Know What You Did Last Summer, a bog standard horror film focused on bullying and mental health in the digital age.
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A truly preposterous script wrapped in a bunch of dollar-store philosophy, with a bunch of fourth-wall breaking quips so that any criticism is redundant. They have simply too many outright exposition, even after the blood starts flowing.
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What the actual fuck is Robert Redford doing in a trademark John Milius ultra-fascist constructed piece of frontier Americana? I’m shocked at this combination, absolutely shocked. This is no young shame either, it’s at the prime of his career. Centrism can absorb anything.
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Yet another extremely liberal adaptation of Journey to the West, mixed with Hong Kong Kung Fu and westernised up the wazoo (just straight up shitting on Confucianism at some point).
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This is a Bourne film without plot. There’s a lot of bit parts for named actors, but no meat, just mindless self indulgence.
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The quintessential whimsical Bildungsroman. Fantastique!
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Nothing speaks about the deep lore for a supposed reboot like introducing time travel to make sure the other convoluted trilogy is back in the cards. What is reality anymore, I simply do not care.
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It’s not the last one, and neither they decide on a pattern for the names and actors. What’s this, Star Wars?
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What a difference 10 years make, 240 little months. This has everything going against it but still mildly succeeds in being entertaining and engrossing.
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This is like Batman Begins, the missing link between old school goofy superhero films, and modern gritty ones. They use leather, not spandex. A lot of people die, except not really, to save them for the sequel. Plain weird shit.
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The long lost child of Dirty Harry and Death Wish. Combines credentialed murderers in the force, with uncredentialed murderers in the streets. But it’s a rape victim taking revenge, it’s strictly better than Charles Bronson.
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I really liked the book, but hated the ending, it feels like an absolute cop out. You should replace the last part with The Man in the High Castle. The latest American news make it even worse, hopefully they change that.
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Incredible. The spiritual sequel to The Big Lebowski, but with more politics and a non-joke plot. That middle part is truly brilliant, it’s almost Apocalypto in its relentless rush.
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This is like a generic Pirates of the Caribbean ripoff, except it’s by the same people. How the fuck is a live action film less expressive than Rango? And why that casting, why, just why‽ Corporate bullshit at its peak, just burning money on nothing.
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Ambitious people meddling with higher powers and getting absolutely overwhelmed by it. Like Network and Scanners in a single package.
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From Boom Festival to hell on earth it doesn’t take too long. Just a prior disappearance, running away from the army, stepping on mines left for the Saharaui people. None of that is explicit, it’s all in the subtext.
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The Eli Roth “remake” in name only. Absolutely dogshit, like most of his films, the best parts are good actors having some fun for some seconds.
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Even Kristen Stewart cannot make me really care about the plight of some low-rent minor noble in the rat race that is the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha inbred fuckery (see The Windsors instead). But Maggie, the loving chambermaid is truly tragic and pitiful.
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A tale of wooden machines and iron men. I mean “men” in the physical sense only, closer to soulless ghouls capitalising on hard working people. Standard Oil is not even the main villain.
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A Bildungsroman, an allegory about fascist Others, and a pure action zombie film, struggling between one another to get to the front. They cannot decide if the zombies are allegorical immigrants or mindless monsters – the synthesis of that idea is simply repugnant.
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What nice little film, with so many small touches, par for the course with Tom Tykwer. What a scoop it would be to film this in actual Saudi Arabia, I think it’s all CGI and Morocco, Jordan, Egypt. Right?
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Not as good as the Coens version, and this has Dennis Hopper as the cattle rustler who gets shot in the cabin, and Robert Duvall as Ned Pepper.
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Complete and utter dross, devoid of any redeeming qualities. Will Ferrell and John C. Riley pretending to be babies for 90 minutes is just cringeworthy, and the rest is just dross.
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Wolverine goes to a comic book version of Japan. In the first 30 minutes there is a genki girl in a punk schoolgirl outfit, samurai, ninjas, ronin, Wolverine taking off his shoes and wearing flip flops, Hiroyuki Sanada, and a Yamato Nadeshiko.
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Pure unbridled dross, in every sense. You can tell by the credits, what do you mean will.i.am is top billed? How come the CGI is so shitty, what the hell? Is this an Asylum film, with A-listers?
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Jesus Christ, yet another R-rated comic book dross, without any adult themes, just pointless soft gore. Alessandro Nivola gets out of serious stuff live The The Brutalist, straight into child’s films (blast to the past of Jurassic Park III).
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Some CGI-fest using the Uncharted brand and some of the videogame set pieces, but strictly worse. They skipped all the ones inspired by other films, to avoid comparisons with talented directors.
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Yikes, the leads have 20 years of age gap, as they should, but it’s still leaves me yippy. Macron-levels of age gap are inherent yiffy.
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Poor Yuppie Snake Plissken, he can’t tell JT Walsh is always the bad guy? Another extremely low cosmopolitrometer film, had to double check this was not by Peckinpah.
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A Rock vehicle, a Conan-lite where he saves the girl and goes from assassin to the King. Not worthy of The Mummy connection.
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Oh lord, is this a gritty reboot of a children’s show? I though Fantastic Four killed that, apparently not. No worries, they added masturbation jokes to make it “adult”.
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Absolutely incredible, it’s the same script tweaked thrice: first, the hubby explains how the murder will happen, then the murderer fails to kill the wife, then we get the writer’s fabulation that turns out to be very close to the real deal. The whole thing hinges on latch keys being visually similar.
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Jackie Chan slumming it for the Americans, with a kind of clip show of his stunts from older films. “Chon Wang”, really? The culture clash reminds me of Red Sun.
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Batman with a stupid fake hobo beard. He is broken out of prison by the good guy version of Peter Thiel, the Palantir Oracle. Together, they fight crime, with access to a feed of SSN of interest, exfiltrated from PRISM.
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I just noticed The Matrix Reloaded highway scene is a much cooler and advanced version of the LA river chase scene! Cameron walked so the Wachovskies soared.
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The British version of Bruce Almighty with proper British inspirations: 1984 and The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Also, Americans are savaged, as they should.
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If The Lord of the Rings, The Thief of Baghdad, The Ten Commandments, and The NeverEnding Story were mushed together, this would be the result. Ridley Scott continues to be obsessed with unicorns.
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In Soviet Russia, Mystic River and Se7en ripoffs YOU!
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More John Wick, but with grenades and flamethrowers. As if there wasn’t already Atomic Blonde, Gunpowder Milkshake, Monkey Man, Anna, Silent Night, etc etc etc.
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I see, the book plot mirrors the “real life” plot, it’s a regret-filled letter twenty years in the making. Becoming one’s hateful parents, what a relatable problem. Those opening shots though, fucking modern art and its shock value.
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A depressing Soylent Green, where Malthusianism is replaced by whatever the Extinction Rebellion ideology is called (the kid has their poster on the bedroom, and rants about Greta warning us!).
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Nooo, Luther! He will need to hack his way out of heaven to get away with exploding in a cave.
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Rashomon with much more scantily clad girls, it’s Atlantic City after all. Seriously, it’s extremely sexualized, Carla Gugino is supposed to be the nerd whistleblower but she spends nearly the whole film in her underwear, and it’s fabulous.
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This doesn’t start in the best way: ripping off Men in Black II and segways into reggaeton. But it gets much better.
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A faithful adaptation of the actual story of the game, that’s what you get for adapting games with an actual plot, not Super Mario. The action is also very much inspired by Assassin’s Creed (the games, not the film).
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A nice little musical horror. Falters towards the end, but it does not drown in a pool of its own blood, it only has some scars from deep knife cuts.
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Police-brutality-based “buddy cop” film, but where Mel Gibson is a Midwestern dentist supplies salesman. There’s a lot of police brutality, but the rest is funny.
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Extremely powerful stuff, the entire thing is brilliant. Then you check the release date and this is before George Floyd, before Breonna Taylor, before Jacob Blake. It only makes it more poignant.
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I really thought this was a regular biopic, until the father beats the shit out of the accordion seller. Al murdering Pablo Escobar and Madonna taking his place is just another escalation.
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I can’t believe how much Inception just downright stole from this. Not just the entire plot, but also smaller details. I could excuse Adam Sandler, but Nolan?
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Is this a Sikorsky ad? Maybe an anti-ad, since two 10 million dollar gunships are shot down by simple unguided RPG. Sounds like a skill issue from the largest military in the world.
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This is a small scale version of War of the Worlds or Signs, if the technical side was a Doctor Who episode. It includes pretty intense social commentary, bruv/fam.
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As if Seth Rogen, Airplane! and Mr. Bean had a filthy baby. How the fuck did they get Working Title to go for this, is it another Bad Santa? Poor Charles Dance, I guess he had a contract to fulfil.
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I have to say that Seth Rogen is extremely annoying, but if he’s the buffoon egotistic sidekick, I don’t think I mind. The action scenes are a bit chaotic, but there’s some stylish ones that take the cake.
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This is surprisingly hard sci-fi for something for kids, very progressive in social mores, and absolutely against any kind of militarism. This is basically what the Star Wars prequels should be.
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Fucking Palpatine was the mastermind all along, get the fuck out of here! Motherfucker George Lucas and the fucking prequels, fucking JJ, fuck that shit! “Do it! DO IT!”
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A very Noir parody, it’s almost Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid levels. Both Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley hit it out of the park, what incredible performances. The deadpan faces are absolutely hilarious.
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Downright trolling the fans, this fucks up the continuity and makes the job of the next director extremely difficult, in service of yet another generic bloated action film.
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Ha, Han shot first! No wonder he’s so cynical, he was used by the mobster lieutenant to kill her boss. He really thought they were eloping.
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Nobody asked for this Star Wars prequel, but the House of Mouse demands the milking process to start. Milk, milk, milk the franchise, gently down the screen, merrily merrily merrily, the plot is but a dream. I head this Andor guy has a nicer show.
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Is this… O Brother, Where Art Thou meets Carpenter’s Vampires, with just a dash of The Banshees of Inisherin? A smashing combination, another great bona-fide musical.
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This is a cool looking war movie where the enemy is Godzilla, avoiding all moral qualms. The politics of the whole thing are iffy, but it doesn’t seem so jingoistic as its critics say, it explicitly rejects death cults of the kamikaze. The woman get the short end of the stick, but it’s a war film set in the 40’s, that’s expected.
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This is a baby’s first videogame for the masses, it’s only a breakthrough if you have never played anything. It’s closer to a walking simulator than an Black Isle or Obsidian RPG.
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This is literally Anatomy of a Murder meets Mississippi Burning, that’s why it’s over two hours long. Jake is just a poor, country lawyer, so anarchist he thinks the NAACP are ghouls slumming it on sweet home Mississippi.
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Rashomon, but ripping off Bourne, with a Kennedy-style assassination in Salamanca, ironically produced by “Original Films”. The most unrealistic part is how Spaniards can talk and understand English, and an American Secret Service guy can drive stick.
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Ah, this is a musical version of Ed Wood, except weirdly sexual and extremely campy, to the point of parody. I can see why this is such a classic, it’s like the pop song version of musical theatre.
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A PG-13 version of the original. What was edgy and cool, is now banal and mainstream (after Hairspray). Emotionally worse, even thought it’s a mostly faithful remake better in all possible ways: it’s nicer looking, the music is better arranged, the actors sing their own songs.
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Another trademark schizo “comedy” with not many jokes, a Landis/Aykroyd collab. It’s Ghostbusters meet Rambo III, our allies the mujahideen of Afghanistan!
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This is my rifle, this is my gun! This is my rifle, this is my gun!
This is for work and this is for fun.
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Reality Winner is an American hero, and now there’s the modern equivalent of a bronze plaque on a bench in a public park: a prestige no-budget filmed play, consisting of the FBI transcripts, where she is played by the latest sex symbol trying to upgrade their career into serious films, not just schlock.
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Charles Bronson murders everyone. Jesus Christ, how much more can you milk this idea? At least two more, I guess.
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I thought this was a real film, but it’s just a Independence Day /The Day After Tomorrow ripoff with industrial amounts of product placement, in service of Asylum-level CGI. But then, it’s also Interstellar with precursors.
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Yah, just small town people being super competent and city slickers being buffoons. Extremely low cosmopolitrometer, but not phoney like Ben Affleck. Give all the Oscars to Frances McDormand, she deserves them.
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Suck it, rich people! Our broke ass country did it first, with technical trickery (and three planes).
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This is like the first Black Mirror episode, with a Neveldine/Taylor style, but with a good ending. What a crock of shit.
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That’s a ginormous cast of supporting roles, and bona fide stars being type cast. The plot is extremely bare bones, leaves much to the imagination.
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A realistic Nomadland, with Million Dollar Baby vibes, produced by Ken Loach. Not ultimately uplifting like The Old Oak, just depressing and extremely blue.
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Captain Planet in the Aquaman suit. Amber Heard being sidelined. Even more Tolkienesque plot.
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Well, this is the opposite from Tim Burton’s film, where Wonka is not the villain, and it’s about mommy issues instead. Lovely, but safe and not iconoclast.
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Is this the Christian critique to the manosphere cult? With a Jewish main character? There’s so much religious imagery (and songs), it can’t be a coincidence.
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LA Heat. It’s not LA Vice, it’s all about the relationship between two guys, the amoral nihilist and the meek pushover.
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Mr. & Mrs. Smith meets Ocean’s Eleven. The music and overall direction is straight out of Vegas, bit the visuals are quite weird. It’s better to no think too much of the plot either, the heroes are non-ideological Cambridge Five, but for Putin instead of the Soviet Union.
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So this is where Anna “I would rather eat my own shit” Chlumsky came from? No wonder she works on the Veep’s office in the future.
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A writer goes to a resort for inspiration, and gets a forced bout of self-discovery. An extremely forceful discovery of who he really his. Not even his girlfriend can keep him grounded in noblesse oblige.
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The title is a reference to Hercules’ twelve labours, but this is just Die Hard with a Vengeance without Zeus. John Cena cannot carry a movie all by himself, and there’s nobody else. Even the villain is weaksauce.
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Whaddaya mean, The Rock is an old Jewish guy from Brooklyn? Ya know, he’s on the ‘burbs!
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This is way too meta to be taken “seriously”. Some extreme howlers, like multiple “fascist!” accusations, the president of Barbieland saying “motherfucker” with Mattel’s logo in her mouth, and so many Kens wanting to beat each other off. Better than Oppenheimer.
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This is a low brow action flick that includes a couple of high brow scenes, so they can cut two trailers, I guess. Sicario with Marky Mark cannot be taken seriously, he’s like Arnie, the film warps to his personality, not the other way around.
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This is a more classic arthouse film, a bona-fide bingo of neorealism. Just because Walter Salles is a billionaire doesn’t mean he can’t be a class traitor.
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Such a nice Starship Troopers spiritual remake. It’s all there, but trades some satirical punches for a more uplifting message. Would you like to know more?
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I AM THE LAAAAAAAW! Jon fought the law, and the law lost. I would believe if Diane Lane was pranked into thinking this would be a serious film. One of the weirdest source materials to adapt into a children’s film.
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A good old sex thriller, this is a dying genre. Not a problem, when you got Arnon Milchan bankrolling and Adrian Lyne directing, he did so much of those before.
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John Milius adapts a Tom Clancy novel. His influence cannot be so big, if the coast guard captain is a woman in the opening credits. No one drinks deer blood either.
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Yet another victim of current events, this plot is absolutely mad. It was bad enough after the first Trump presidency, but after the second one, is just crazy. Why do even serious action films have to ape Marvel with shared universes, and post-credits scenes? Just do regular sequels, no need to tease so much!
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Just a bog standard Blob propaganda piece, but very much focused on Jack Ryan himself, not much political stuff surrounding it. He’s a family man now, apparently.
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This just IP, it has barely anything to do with Jumanji. It’s a souped up The Breakfast Club instead, with 30 year olds playing teenagers. In the Jumanji game universe, it’s a non-parody Land of the Lost.
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Number 6, brought to you by Chinese money, sponsored by BMW. The James Bond ripoff levels are off the charts, Rebecca Ferguson is Vesper now.
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What. What? What! What‽ what, what. WHAT¡ WhAaaaaaT¿ Whattttttt⸮ Who? How? Why?
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That’s a brutal runtime, but fitting for an epic story. Ironic how a film about brutalism is so stylish. Kinda tone deaf to make a big deal of making aliyah in this conjecture, they should have used AI to change that instead.
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They pull a Terminator 2 and the bad guy is a good guy now. But it’s really about a little kid’s FAMILY, the biological murderous deadbeats, and the kind killer that raised the kid. After some twists and turns towards the end, she goes self-made orphan and chooses the old SEAL Team 6.
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It’s a John Woo film, everything is extremely intense. Intense emotional scenes, intense training montages, then an intense John Wick ripoff. How the mighty have fallen.
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The visual style is extremely well-troden, it has been seen over and over and over again, and they even quote tastefully from the masters. But a story based on brotherly love, two children raised together bonding for life? That’s basically unheard of, it’s fresh just for that fact.
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This is the quintessential romcom, written by Nora Ephron even. Harry is such a jerk for so long, I don’t see what Sally sees in him. That’s the hardest thing to suspend disbelief over.
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It’s not THAT funny, but what can you expect from a goofy Disney cash in on those comedian people they have in storage, with every single bit of edge sanded down to nubbins.
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This is too straightforward for Soderbergh, there’s no twist, no nothing. Feels just like The Whale, particularly the ending. His least good film since Haywire…
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A Senate-based Three Days of the Condor released post-Snowden, in the Trump years. Delusional insanity, trust the process? The slimeballs hint at but never fucking say the name Gina Haspel!
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The Cruiser does some shitty James Bond ripoff, with bad copies of other action films: The Matrix Reloaded freeway chase, The Bourne Legacy motorcycle chase, and The Man Who Knew Too Much opera assassination. Then they have the pointless legacy cameo: “should you choose to accept it”, “this message will self destruct in X seconds”.
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Vigilantism comes to the streets of LA. This is much less downright fascist, it’s less ideological, most plot decisions are done for Doylist reasons.
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This is very beautifully shot and acted, but there’s an overall weirdness, it’s extremely thematic, not a straightforward story. Some enormous amounts of themes stuck in there.
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This is much lower budget and esoteric than I remembered. Some of the images are simply timeless, like trashed and empty London, the zombie on a leash, or the Christmas lights on the apartment.
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Oof, this is filled with twists, but it’s actually very conventional. It has themes, but they do not really gel with the movie itself until the last 30 minutes or so.
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Now this is even more silly, if that could be possible. Less politically charged, absolutely ridiculous with a sci-fi vibe this time. Lady Gaga kills it as the Mission: Impossible assassin with perfect latex masks.
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That intro is straight out of Hot Shots, and so is the first plane ride. Played completely straight, this is absolutely ridiculous, it’s basically a remake.
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I mean, it’s no Marighella (not even Central do Brasil). It’s a tragedy, but they live in Leblon, just across the street from the beach. It’s completely focused on the wife. How did “the help” survive so long without wages? Where did she went afterwards? A lot of glossed over things.
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They go full circle, there’s a blatant Cutthroat Island meets Fast Five ripoff in the bank heist. The cold open includes two openings in fact, the new lore and the nostalgia factor. For fuck’s sake, there’s also some deepfake Johnny Depp as teenager.
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Mermaids, Blackbeard, and shit, but also some historical empires struggling for conquering an exotic landmark. The new couple falling in love is Morrigan from the bad King Arthur, and some priest of unknown denomination.
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The NeverEnding Story, oh oh ohhh, never ending story. They have the guts of ending the third one with yet another adventure in the making.
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It’s Davy Jones locker for the lot of ye!
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What the fuck is this, I can’t understand all this acting talent doing jackshit. Some British director bring a fuckton of English people to Canada, teams up with a lot of local talent, to write a crappier Nordic thriller. A much shittier version of Wind River.
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Here we go, this is gonna be a rambling stream-of-conscience review.
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This is a squeaky fucking clean Hollywood film, about as left wing as morally possible in America: the f-word (fascism) is dropped only once in the final monologue.
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One of those Saturday afternoon BBC period pieces, exquisite production values, with a lot of old school accented swearing. Better that Queen Victoria shoving a spiky flower up her twat, that’s for sure.
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This is just a pitiful version of Network, from the audience perspective, there’s no satire here. Up there with Bringing Out the Dead.
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Damn, this thriller has so many twists and turns, it alternates many times between “this sucks” and “this is awesome”. A very fine film for such limited budget and cast.
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That trademark Eggers purple prose and visual portent, with a nearly monochromatic colour scheme. Not as foul and vile in its wickedness as The Lighthouse, but a well rounded effort, even with seemingly the guild forcing some performers that fail to meet the high bar required for this.
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Aardman still got it, incredible. This is more grandiose (maybe with a smidgen of CGI, but probably not), and apes silly old James Bond films and Mission: Impossible, instead of The Great Escape.
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A typical Hollywood people biopic. Glosses over any professional drama, it’s purely about the personal relationships. As a melodrama, it lacks some grandiose and bombastic scenes, unlike the music, ironically.
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The first half of Full Metal Jacket without the critical second bit, where we learned it was all for nought. No one is really cancelled, like Tár.