Archive for 2025
31 posts from 01 January to 27 February 2025.
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What. What? What! What‽ what, what. WHAT¡ WhAaaaaaT¿ Whattttttt⸮ Who? How? Why?
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That’s a brutal runtime, but fitting for an epic story. Ironic how a film about brutalism is so stylish. Kinda tone deaf to make a big deal of making aliyah in this conjecture, they should have used AI to change that instead.
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They pull a Terminator 2 and the bad guy is a good guy now. But it’s really about a little kid’s FAMILY, the biological murderous deadbeats, and the kind killer that raised the kid. After some twists and turns towards the end, she goes self-made orphan and chooses the old SEAL Team 6.
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It’s a John Woo film, everything is extremely intense. Intense emotional scenes, intense training montages, then an intense John Wick ripoff. How the mighty have fallen.
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The visual style is extremely well-troden, it has been seen over and over and over again, and they even quote tastefully from the masters. But a story based on brotherly love, two children raised together bonding for life? That’s basically unheard of, it’s fresh just for that fact.
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This is the quintessential romcom, written by Nora Ephron even. Harry is such a jerk for so long, I don’t see what Sally sees in him. That’s the hardest thing to suspend disbelief over.
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It’s not THAT funny, but what can you expect from a goofy Disney cash in on those comedian people they have in storage, with every single bit of edge sanded down to nubbins.
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This is too straightforward for Soderbergh, there’s no twist, no nothing. Feels just like The Whale, particularly the ending. His least good film since Haywire…
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A Senate-based Three Days of the Condor released post-Snowden, in the Trump years. Delusional insanity, trust the process? The slimeballs hint at but never fucking say the name Gina Haspel!
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The Cruiser does some shitty James Bond ripoff, with bad copies of other action films: The Matrix Reloaded freeway chase, The Bourne Legacy motorcycle chase, and The Man Who Knew Too Much opera assassination. Then they have the pointless legacy cameo: “should you choose to accept it”, “this message will self destruct in X seconds”.
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Vigilantism comes to the streets of LA. This is much less downright fascist, it’s less ideological, most plot decisions are done for Doylist reasons.
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This is very beautifully shot and acted, but there’s an overall weirdness, it’s extremely thematic, not a straightforward story. Some enormous amounts of themes stuck in there.
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This is much lower budget and esoteric than I remembered. Some of the images are simply timeless, like trashed and empty London, the zombie on a leash, or the Christmas lights on the apartment.
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Oof, this is filled with twists, but it’s actually very conventional. It has themes, but they do not really gel with the movie itself until the last 30 minutes or so.
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Now this is even more silly, if that could be possible. Less politically charged, absolutely ridiculous with a sci-fi vibe this time. Lady Gaga kills it as the Mission: Impossible assassin with perfect latex masks.
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That intro is straight out of Hot Shots, and so is the first plane ride. Played completely straight, this is absolutely ridiculous, it’s basically a remake.
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I mean, it’s no Marighella. It’s a tragedy, but they live in Leblon, just across the street from the beach. It’s completely focused on the wife. How did “the help” survive so long without wages? Where did she went afterwards? A lot of glossed over things.
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They go full circle, there’s a blatant Cutthroat Island meets Fast Five ripoff in the bank heist. The cold open includes two openings in fact, the new lore and the nostalgia factor. For fuck’s sake, there’s also some deepfake Johnny Depp as teenager.
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Mermaids, Blackbeard, and shit, but also some historical empires struggling for conquering an exotic landmark. The new couple falling in love is Morrigan from the bad King Arthur, and some priest of unknown denomination.
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The NeverEnding Story, oh oh ohhh, never ending story. They have the guts of ending the third one with yet another adventure in the making.
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It’s Davy Jones locker for the lot of ye!
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What the fuck is this, I can’t understand all this acting talent doing jackshit. Some British director bring a fuckton of English people to Canada, teams up with a lot of local talent, to write a crappier Nordic thriller. A much shittier version of Wind River.
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Here we go, this is gonna be a rambling stream-of-conscience review.
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This is a squeaky fucking clean Hollywood film, about as left wing as morally possible in America: the f-word (fascism) is dropped only once in the final monologue.
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One of those Saturday afternoon BBC period pieces, exquisite production values, with a lot of old school accented swearing. Better that Queen Victoria shoving a spiky flower up her twat, that’s for sure.
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This is just a pitiful version of Network, from the audience perspective, there’s no satire here. Up there with Bringing Out the Dead.
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Damn, this thriller has so many twists and turns, it alternates many times between “this sucks” and “this is awesome”. A very fine film for such limited budget and cast.
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That trademark Eggers purple prose and visual portent, with a nearly monochromatic colour scheme. Not as foul and vile in its wickedness as The Lighthouse, but a well rounded effort, even with seemingly the guild forcing some performers that fail to meet the high bar required for this.
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Aardman still got it, incredible. This is more grandiose (maybe with a smidgen of CGI, but probably not), and apes silly old James Bond films and Mission: Impossible, instead of The Great Escape.
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A typical Hollywood people biopic. Glosses over any professional drama, it’s purely about the personal relationships. As a melodrama, it lacks some grandiose and bombastic scenes, unlike the music, ironically.
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The first half of Full Metal Jacket without the critical second bit, where we learned it was all for nought. No one is really cancelled, like Tár.