Archive for Release Year: 2013

15 posts from 23 September 2018 to 08 December 2016.

  • R.I.P.D.

    Jeff Bridges playing a parody of Rooster Cogburn

  • La vie d'Adèle

    Came for the lesbian sex, stayed for the Bildungsroman.

  • Warm Bodies

    Ravenous consumers of human flesh are people too. At least when they literally turn to people.

  • Man of Steel

    Goddamn clusterfuck of pieces of plot strewn together randomly. They credited an editor, but it’s just a pseudonym for BlendTec.

  • Pacific Rim

    Go Go, Jägar Rangers.

  • A Gaiola Dourada

    More a series of sketches than an unified plot. Still very much worth watching, if nothing else for the massive amount of talent on screen.

  • Closed Circuit

    Ultra British thriller.

  • Now You See Me

    There’s no The Prestige into taking Mementos from other films. Pure Larceny.

  • The Conjuring

    Every horror film rolled into one.

  • Fast & Furious 6

    The one with Luke Evans as the villain. 20 min to stupid car chase.

  • Paranoia

    Completely pathetic. Antitrust wears Prada.

  • Carrie

    The new one. Chloë Moretz is not as pitiful as Sissy Spacek, but she is a better actress, so it evens out in the end. The bullies are even more massacred here.

  • Frozen

    Another competent musical from the Disney assembly line. Professionally Formulaic.

  • Europa Report

    2001, a Blair Witch in Space.

  • The Host

    Twilight of the Body Snatchers. The Stephanie Meyer connection was only brought up later.